And then, three musical numbers.
First, Blaine sings a stripped-down version of Phil Collins’ “Against All Odds” that is raw and beautiful and sad and super awkward because everyone knows he’s singing about Sam due to the fact that he spends the whole song staring longingly at Sam. Afterwards, Tina is like, “… the fuck was that?” Blaine says his secret shame is loving Phil Collins, which is ridiculous, because no one is ashamed of loving Phil Collins, because loving Phil Collins is both natural and correct. Also, not that I don’t think Sam is swoon-worthy and everything, and I get that Blaine is lonely and has felt conflicted about his attraction to his best friend all season, but the song gives a lot more gravitas to this Blam crush than it really deserves. Three weeks ago, Blaine was repeating for the one millionth time his intention to spend the rest of his life with Kurt, so yeah, I’ll buy that he has a crush on Sam (who doesn’t?) but I won’t buy that it’s a gut-wrenching “You’re the only one who really knew me” kind of angsty emotional reckoning. But it was a pretty cover.
Next, Unique and Tina and Marley and Kitty and Brittany bring it so hard with Spice Girls’ “Wannabe.” For one thing, every one of them looks fierce as hell. And they sound amazing. Unique sounds so, so good. Artie’s jaw hits the floor when Kitty makes her entrance like lesbian Twitter’s jaw hit the floor when Marley stormed in (and hit the floor again when she brought that British accent). It’s always good to see Brittany butching it up. Plus, who is this Magenta-haired keyboard player who’s rocking out all of a sudden? More of that girl, please and thank you. Artie screams “BEST THING EVER!!!!” when it’s over, and he is right.
Finally, in the Glee-est move of all time, Jake does Bobby Brown’s “My Prerogative” — after which Artie informs him that Bobby Brown allegedly got Whitney Houston hooked on crack, which is just the tip of the iceberg, but sure. It’s just: “We totally paid Bobby Brown lots of money for the rights to this song and will now make even more money for him and for us when we release the single on iTunes, but there’s nothing unethical about that as long as we mention that he allegedly wrecked some lives.” It’s Glee at it’s Glee-est. Like Kitty earlier: “What’s scarier than a girl with a penis? ONLY KIDDING!” How about don’t promote the musician or make the joke in the first place, then you won’t have to clean it up with a clumsy lesson or “LOL!” How about instead of doing a gross thing, pausing for a laugh or a round of applause or some royalties, and then explaining why what you did was gross, you just don’t do the gross thing in the first place?
Blah, blah, blah. It’s a really great episode, otherwise, especially the Small Wonder reference with Tina as V.I.C.I., the ten-year-old android maid.
After school, Sam tracks down Blaine in the auditorium and tries for the tenth time to get Blaine to own up to his feelings for him. He’s not doing it to make him uncomfortable or because he wants the ego boost. He’s doing it because he knows that fact of the crush and hiding the crush is causing Blaine a lot of pain, and Blaine is his best friend, and he wants him to be healthy and happy. I don’t know if it’s intentional, but there’s some really nuanced unspoken commentary here. Blaine Warbler is a sought after performer, the student body president, a much crushed upon sexytimes object, and an out-and-proud gay guy. But there’s still so much pop culture gay panic around, and it has caused Blaine to internalize a lot of shame about his crush on Sam, mostly because he’s afraid Sam’s going to freak out about it. But Sam does not freak out about it. Sam is the most best of all bestness. He says he’s known for a while, and he’s cool with it, flattered in fact, and that it doesn’t change their dynamic duo status at all. They hug it out, like superheroes.