“Glee” recap (4.09): Somethin’ Stupid

Previously on Glee, Marley Rose died and went to heaven where it’s always Turkey Lurkey time, and some days, if you’re lucky, you can find Ianto Jones, Omar Little, and Tara Maclay hanging out at the pool together, playing a little poker, telling a couple of tales. Rachel and Kurt hosted the gayest Thanksgiving known to man in their Hummelberry Loft, the euphoric effects of which gave Kurt the courage to call Blaine and finally accept his apology for poking Eli C. And for a single shining moment on the Sectionals stage, Hunter Clarington experienced the sensation of being Harry Styles. Ladies threw their knickers at him. Taylor Swift wrote a song about how he stole/trampled all over her heart.

Hey, now. Hold the phone, now. Marley Rose is alive? Or is she? How much more interesting would this show be if Marley actually did die up there on that Sectionals stage and now she is a zombie? But no, I think she is alive. The camera is all woozy, like all it had for eats these past two weeks is half a Tic Tac too. And New Directions is all atwitter. Get her a sandwich. Get her a juice box. Get her back out there on stage because otherwise they’ll be disqualified. Into the chaos, Santana calls out Kitty for poisoning Marley’s mind and giving her an eating disorder, and Sue sashays in to let everyone know that the judges have given the Sectionals crown to the Warblers.

At the Hummelberry Loft, Blaine calls Kurt to tell him the news about the Sectionals loss. Immediately after it happens, he calls Kurt and Kurt answers his call and they talk to each other on the phone and Kurt consoles Blaine and Blaine laughs because Kurt always knows the right thing to say, and also Kurt is talking to him again, and maybe his Sectionals dreams are dashed but his main dream of moving to the city and sharing his life with the love of his life, that dream is on again, and so what if he didn’t get another high school win, and so what if New Rachel is maybe or maybe not a member of the living dead, because it’s not long now until Christmas and Kurt said there would be ice skating and hot chocolate and real talks about real things, and maybe they will hold hands and maybe they will kiss and maybe they will whisper things into the secret places of each other’s hearts, and what’s a trophy compared to that?

Kurt tells Rachel the Sectionals news and she’s like, “Maybe I should call Finn?” And they both laugh because they’re done pretending Rachel and Finn ever had what Kurt and Blaine have.

Kurt exposits the structure of tonight’s episode the way Hermione Granger used to exposit the structure of Harry Potter’s adventures. Kurt is to NYADA blogs as Hermione is to Hogwarts: A History, is what I mean. It’s time for the Winter Showcase, an invitation-only performance by ten of NYADA’s top students. Carmen Tibideau hand-writes and hand-delivers the invitations like so many Willy Wonka golden tickets, and obviously, Rachel Berry wants one. Kurt, meanwhile, just wants another shot at getting into NYADA. With SJP at his back and Blaine at his side, he’s got a feeling he can fly.

Ten seconds later, Rachel gets her invitation.

Finn Eeyores into the choir room to find the Cheerios dismantling it for a literal Sue Sylvester circus. You’ve seen this scene a thousand times before. You know the drill. Finn Schuester storms into Figgins’ office followed by Sue, and Figgins explains that he’s rented the choir room, the auditorium, the football field, the cafeteria, the gym, the extra classrooms, the front lawn, the courtyard, the parking lot, etc. to whatever other club and so New Directions is well and truly finished. (Didn’t Kristin Chenoweth buy that auditorium for glee club so this would stop happening every episode?)

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