At Kitty’s Terribleness Emporium, the Grease-ladies sleepover is underway. Marley wants something low-cal for her sleepover snack, so Brittany suggests Kleenex on account of they taste like clouds. Kitty, however, has a “better” idea. She leads Marley into the bathroom, brandishes two fingers in what could be considered a very suggestive gesture in the wide world of lesbian sign language, and instructs her in the fine art of self-induced vomiting. Kitty leaves Marley to her bulimia and launches into “Look at Me, I’m Sandra Dee” in her bedroom. And just when you thought she couldn’t get any more vile, she mocks Marley’s hat.
The song is fine, and Sugar is perfection as Frenchy, but doesn’t Brittany seem so out of place here? She belongs with Quinn (RIP) and Santana, and this episode doesn’t do anything to dispel my feelings that graduating those two and Mercedes may have ruined the show. I think it was just too much too fast. Graduating Rachel and Kurt, sending them to New York but allowing us to stay involved in their lives, that was a good move. But with Santana and Quinn and Mercedes gone, it’s hard to give a shit about what’s happening back at McKinley. I mean, we’ve already invested three years with our characters, so Mercedes’ upcoming ten seconds of exposition about attending UCLA and doing her background singing and hanging out with Puck, that carries more weight than every stupid thing Ryder and Kitty and Marley and Jake have done this whole season.
Sue has taken the liberty of calling Unique’s parents to explain about RizzoGate. They are concerned for her safety, especially after finding out she was shoved inside a locker — which is one of the mildest forms of physical abuse students engage in at McKinley, to be honest — so they tell her to assume the persona of Wade at school, and also: No Rizzo. You want to feel sorry for Unique. You want to feel sorry for Tina, too, because she assumes that she’s finally going to get the chance to shine. But the truth is, I can’t feel sorry for either of those guys, because:
Artie took the liberty of calling Santana and asking her to fly to Ohio and play Rizzo, and since she’s been in training for the role since she was a toddler — and also because every day she doesn’t see Brittany’s face is another day she dies a little inside — she hopped on a plane and here she is. Brittany is gazing at her with more open affection than we’ve ever seen, I think. Like she was starving for the sight of her. Like how you don’t realize sometimes that you haven’t eaten in two days until someone puts a bowl of soup in front of you and you realize how very hungry you are, and please, sir, may I have another? She says, “The important thing is that Santana is here.” And she means it as an answer to every question.
Also, it is pretty hilarious, this meta commentary running throughout the episode about how this year was meant to be Tina/Jenna Ushkowitz’s year. When she walks in and sees Santana, she is seriously like, “Are you f–king kidding me with this?”