Rachel’s makeover ditty is a mash-up of “The Way You Look Tonight” and “You’re Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile,” which is a really nice callback to SJP’s time as Annie on Broadway. Rachel makes a full transition into Lea Michele. They record the whole thing and send it upstairs to Anna Wintour as a pitch for a new Vogue.com video series.
Back home, at like 3:00 a.m., Kurt and Blaine Skype some more. Kurt is so psyched on his meteoric rise up the New York fashion ladder, and also on the fact that Rachel has burned all of her knee socks, that he breezes over Blaine’s request to help him pick out a bowtie for the class president debate. It’s well acted and heartbreaking and probably the truest relationship conundrum Glee has ever thrown at one of its couples. Blaine’s face is regular sad, but when Kurt doesn’t even notice that, Blaine’s face goes to saddest.
Only about 20 kids show up for the McKinley class president debate, which is mercifully hosted by Sue instead of Figgins. I wish they’d just make her the principle already. Artie drones on for like three hours about his 96-point plan to make McKinley a school of excellence. When it’s finally Sam’s turn to talk, he makes a counterpoint by taking of his shirt and twirling it around his head. There are worse campaign strategies than Chord Overstreet’s pecs. One point for Team Blam. During the presidential portion of the debate, a very nervous Blaine says he thinks the school deserves better than a Jurassic Prom — which is ridiculous! Nothing is better than dinosaur-themed parties! — and also that banning hair gel leads to burning people at the stake probably. Brittany says if she’s re-elected, she’ll wrap the whole school up in a hug they’ll love so much they won’t even want weekends or summer vacation anymore. One point for Team … no, sorry. I can’t make myself type their ship name ever again.
Isabelle calls Kurt into her office to discuss his late night foray into the Vogue vault. She tells him he’s going to want to sit down for this one: Anna loved the makeover mash-up video so much, she actually sent an email calling it “great.” It’s Isabelle’s first “great” since joining the Vogue team, and she’s so hopped up on their co-success that she tells Kurt to trash his lifelong NYADA dreams immediately and put all of his eggs into the fashion basket. Kurt figures it’s worth a shot. I mean, if it doesn’t work out, he can always just start NYADA tomorrow, right? That’s what he learned from New Directions. When you’re part of a musical ensemble, you can just quit the group and return at your leisure, up to ten times per episode.
Brody stalks Rachel down in the dance studio, where she takes what is apparently the only class offered offered by the New York Academy of Dramatic Arts. He is quite taken with her new wardrobe. She’s like, “Oh, this old leotard? You wouldn’t believe how many of them are just lying around over at Vogue.” She says that she likes to do something every day to “keep her machine well-oiled” and Brody winks and says, “Me too, baby.” She asks him to sing and dance with her, which is the show choir equivalent of making all the sexes. They sing “A Change Will Do You Good” while frolicking through the city and eating ice cream in the most obscene way possible. During her post-coital/dance haze, Rachel asks Brody over for dinner, which she wants to prepare for him, from scratch. The best “friends with benefits” scenario I could possibly imagine is one where the payoff is macaroni and cheese. Congratulations, Brody.
Team Blam wins the election, but Blaine can’t get excited about it because he can’t share his victory with Kurt. He tells Sam that Kurt is planning an inauguration ball, which isn’t true at all, because Kurt doesn’t even know that Blaine has won, because Kurt is hobnobbing with Vogue.com’s leather fetishists and not answering Blaine’s phone calls. And, I mean, it’s like 2:30 in the afternoon, right? And Kurt is at his job, right? It’s not like he’s out at some kind of male strip club in the middle of the night ignoring Blaine’s calls while Channing Tatum dances on his lap. Still, though, Blaine is a sad sad lamb.
At their victory party, Blaine tells Sam that he was shocked today when he realized he only came to McKinley to be with Kurt, even though he said out loud when he came to McKinley that his reason for being there was Kurt. Sam says that even though he came for Kurt, he should stay for Sam. Not because Sam wants to be his boyfriend. But because Sam wants to be his brother in superheroism, the Cyclops to his Wolverine. And even though those two heroes hate each other, it’s a lovely moment. (For real, though, Sam is Aquaman and Blaine is Captain America.)
Brittany sidles up to Sam in a booth at Breadstix and he gets that puppy basket face again. He tells her he voted for her, and she tells him she voted for herself. They hug and are adorable and wouldn’t it be nice if Glee could sustain one platonic friendship? They can’t, of course. Sam’s gonna go after this thing full-throttle. But it sure would be rad if they could just be best buddies. They’d make great best buddies. Also, best buddies would keep the lesbians from killing Sam in his sleep. Alas.
Rachel nearly blows up Bushwick trying to cook dinner for Brody, so they order pizza and eat it on the floor and tell dumb secrets to each other. Last week, Brody was like, “Just FYI, I am always thinking about kissing you,” which wigged Rachel out. But this week, he’s like, “FYI, I’m hands-off,” so just goes right ahead and makes out with his face. There’s a knock at the door. Rachel giggles that it’s Kurt. It’s not. It’s Finn. He sees Brody in the background wiping Rachel’s lipstick off his mouth and he makes a very confused face.
Just kidding, that’s Finn’s regular face. Who even knows if he sees Brody standing back there.
Oh, and there also was a C-story this week that basically was Will freaking out because he can’t get inspired to inspire kids anymore, so probably he’s going to take a multi-episode hiatus to join a “blue ribbon committee” to petition the state of Ohio to give money to the arts. It should probably be a bigger deal that he’s not going to be on the show for a while, but they haven’t known what to do with his character since the halfway point of season one, so it’s not a sad thing to see them exploring other options for glee teachers. My money is on Finn.
Next week, Blaine goes to New York to make Kurt cry. Santana goes to Lima to make Brittany cry. Will packs his bags and not even Emma cries. And Finn confesses to getting kicked out of the army because of his one-man mission to come out on behalf of every closeted soldier gay now that “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” has been repealed.
I know it’s hard to watch, what with our favorite gaymo couples on the rocks, but I’m really enjoying Glee‘s fourth season so far. How about you?
Mega thanks to my screencapping partner Lindsay, who stayed up all night to make sure she got juuuuust the right cap of Heather Morris in her librarian gear. Follow her on Twitter (@scenicpenguin) and talk to her about her OTP (Marley + Hats).