Meanwhile, in the spinoff show that remains attached to the Glee Mothership like a conjoined twin, Rachel is still having trouble with Cassandra July. It’s time to tango in dance class and Cassandra thinks Rachel can’t be sexy and that she moves like she’s ashamed of her body.
I’ve had asshat teachers before, but the thing is, I’m not really sure that refusing to teach your student is really an option, Ms. July. But I understand you are just bitter because everyone sees you as a pale shadow of Lydia Grant from Fame, and who can hope to compare to that?
Brittany is in a downward spiral as a result of being booted off the Cheerios. Mr. Schue and Miss Pillsbury sit her down and give her a pamphlet to make everything better. She assures them she’s fine since she’s now taking Lord Tubbington’s pills for depression. They are completely okay with that.
Schue decides that rather than tiresome talk of tutors and study groups, the route to Brittany’s salvation is to inspire her through song. Why hasn’t Will been fired yet? Oh, right, he’s teacher of the year.
It’s Britney week. Blaine and Artie kick things off with “Boys.” Something about a gay boy singing this song to the bi girl with a girlfriend, coupled with said girl’s ex boyfriend singing along broke my brain. Or maybe it was the rapping. Hmmm… Could definitely be the rapping.
Brittany is as impressed as I was, chowing down on Oreos through the whole ordeal. She tells Mr. Schue she is inspired and he smiles happily, feeling that his brilliant plan has succeeded.
Over in RachelWorld, Rachel and Kurt are checking out a new place to live. It’s located in Bushwick, which is apparently a real place in Brooklyn. It’s moderately huge, though it lacks a kitchen … and walls … and probably any sort of heating. In fact, it looks like the sort of place they show drug addicts squatting in on Law & Order.
Kurt gushes about how much space they are getting for 1800 bucks a month. I start to wonder where Kurt, son of a “poor auto mechanic” and Rachel, who couldn’t afford a prom dress, plan to come up with all this money. And then I remind myself this is Gleetopia and all is well.