Don’t panic, my lovelies. I am not taking over recapping for Glee. Heather Hogan had a family commitment this week, but will back in the saddle for next THursday’s episode. But for this week, you have to deal with my brand of snark and obtuse pop culture references.
The episode begins with our beloved Brittany S. Pierce doing a voiceover about how awesome her life is and how it just can’t get awesomer. She Skype-scissors with Santana, who apparently did go to that college with the cheerleading program. She is captain of the Cheerios. She has a plan to become Senior Class President for life. And she gets to have a great senior year for a second time.
Blaine interrupts her and we find that she was actually speaking her voiceover out loud. Oh BritBrit, never change.
This leads us into our first Britney Spears song, “Hold It Against Me.” This number is either an apology to the lesbian fans for taking away Brittana or its Glee’s way of appeasing the poor straight men out there who had to endure so much gay last season.
There was also the strange thing in the routine where the Cheerio boys were playing with Klingon Bat’leths, which I didn’t quite understand.
Brittany’s happy train jumps the tracks and crashes into a dynamite storage shed. Her grades have not improved, it seems. Shocking that after absolutely no intervention from anyone, no support, no talks, no plans, her 0.0 GPA has not improved.
Sue kicks her off the Cheerios in an act of tough love. Brittany quietly suggests that “tough love” is code for being mean.
We get a brief glimpse of Santana, who sympathizes with Brittany. And hey, sympathy is super, but maybe as her girlfriend you might want to help her find a plan for graduating? Just a thought.
Lord Tubbington clearly agrees with me, but Brittany refuses to listen to him because he’s joined a gang.