“Glee” recap (2.02): Brittany Spears Britney

Turns out she caught a naked Jacob in the library doing the self-nasty over his dreams of Rachel as Britney. This is, in Sue’s mind, Will’s fault. "Don’t let your own recklessness blind you to the fact that Britney Spears is a genius pop culture provocateur and a gateway drug to every out-of-control impulse ever created. This school is a powder keg of sexual deviance, William, and in my office I have a chair with a naked butt sweat stain to prove it."

And then we see the butt sweat stain, in close up, for a long, long time, and Imay never watch television again.

So Sue stalks off and now of course, Mr. Schue is going to do Britney Spears with the Glee Club.

The next scene is Britney standing in the hallway of McKinley High in a Cheerios uniform, telling Tina and Brittany that they should put ranch dressing on their pizza.

"I’m a hundred percent in love with you right now," Brittany tells Britney.

Then we figure out whose dental dream this is as Artie rolls up and Britney scolds Tina for breaking up with him.

Artie shrugs it off, saying it made him stronger.

"I’m serious," Brittany says to Britney. "You’re hot."

Then we cut to the football field where Artie, Puck and Finn are suited up and singing, of course, "Stronger." This is the most successful integration of a Britney song into the episode, and the only one that really feels like Glee.

In the next scene, Artie and Finn are talking in the locker room and Artietells Finn about his dream and then Coach Beiste walks in and puts the two of them on the team — news Rachel is less than thrilled to hear.

And then Mr. Schue comes in and says that they can do Britney at the upcomingschool Homecoming assembly — and he’s going to perform with them.

Which no one’s very thrilled about.

Let’s see, now a de-sexified Rachel is telling Finn he has to quit the football team because the only way they can be together is if they’re both losers.

"Rachel, you can’t ask me to choose between you and football," Finn tells her.

"Well," she says, "I am."

Will walks into the assembly wearing a bowler hat, and Emma gives him a weird look. "You look like you’re from the cast of Kids, Incorporated," she says.

He seems to think that’s a compliment. It’s not.

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