“Glee” recap (2.02): Brittany Spears Britney

Now it’s Rachel’s turn in the chair, and her fantasy is being a naughty schoolgirl and singing "Hit Me Baby One More Time." She actually looks hot in the outfit, except for her puffed-up lips, but this song is not for her and she can’t dance, and, well, then she wakes up.

"You Glee kids are tough to work on," comments Dr. Carl. "You’re always moving around when you’re under."

I’m not the only one who thought Rachel looked hot; she wears the naughty schoolgirl outfit to McKinley the next day, and everyone else thinks so, too. Finn tries to cover her up with his jacket, but she just laughs him off.

"That guy just broke up with his girlfriend now  just so he could look at you," Finn says. And then the goon who tried to beat him up walks by and says, "Why do the gay guys always get the hottest chicks?"

They argue over her new look and him going back to the football team while Brittany, in the background, pats Jacob’s hair and says, "It looks like a Jewish cloud."

After Rachel sashays off, Jacob comes up to Finn, trembling, and says,"What do you want for her? I’ll give you anything. I’ll give you my house. I’ll kill my parents and I’ll give you my house."

Then Will rushes off and buys a car just like Carl’s to impress Emma, and it’s painfully embarrassing not just for us but for Emma because he’s so totally uncool (and when exactly did that happen? I don’t think he’s this uncool) and then suddenly who shows up but Will’s evil ex, Terry? She’s verging on stalker territory, convinced he’s going to "get over Miss Crazypants" and come back to her one day soon.

Oh, if only you could fast forward live TV.

Now we’re back in the rehearsal room, where Santana tells Rachel she looks hot and then Kurt gets up and says that, while he risks expulsion saying so, Britney Spears has helped Rachel blossom. "That’s all," he concludes, hands raised, sitting down.

Now, I’ve been waiting all night for Kurt’s Britney moment, and I just got a sad feeling he’s not going to get one. Even though he’s been her biggest champion all episode.

And then suddenly the thing this episode was really missing: Sue walks in. "William," she says, "A word."

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