Becky goes to Sue for advice on how to catch Artie, and although Sue thinks she could do better, and wonders “What happened to Jason, that cute boy you took to the prom?”, she does advise her to ask Artie out if that’s what she wants to do.
Later, in the teacher’s lounge, Sue (and we) find out that Coach Beiste and Cooter eloped during the hiatus. Sue seems shocked, and says that must be why he hasn’t returned her calls for weeks.
She is gracious in defeat. “Well, Michael Chiklis in a wig, I would like to offer my congratulations. I’ve been bested. I guess it’s time to call Boreanaz.”
Shannon’s wedding makes Emma sad, because she thinks Will won’t ever ask her to be his wife. Sue has no time for this old-fashioned attitude, and encourages her to ask him. Emma sings a fantasy version of the Laura Nyro song “Wedding Bell Blues” (popularized by The Fifth Dimension), with Sue and Shannon singing backup, Sue in the freaky hat Princess Beatrice wore to Kate Middleton’s wedding.
Then the dream sequence ends and it turns out our Emma has actually proposed to Will in front of the entire teacher’s lounge; she flees.
Will, of course, immediately tells his Glee kids that he’s going to propose to Emma, and enlists their help. Because that would happen.
Quinn, in her one single line of the night, says, “We totally don’t think you’ll screw it up this time.” Oh Quinn. So naïve.
Will also tells them he’s going to ask Emma’s parents’ permission before he proposes. You know, her crazy, abusive, racist parents who he yelled at and threw out of the house?
Sam, clearly inspired by telling the Glee guys (minus Kurt) about his summer of love with Mercedes, comes up to her at her locker and tries again. She says no – again – and he asks if it’s because he’s white.
“Are you insane?” she responds.
Then he decides it’s because he doesn’t have a letterman jacket. Really, Sam? That’s what you think?
He also reminds her of the carnival and tilt-o-whirl, and gets her to smile. But she still tells him no and says she’s staying with Shane.
Artie rolls up to Sugar and asks her out – I didn’t see that coming, but she tells him no, not because he’s disabled but because she’s “abled,” and his legs are thinner than her arms. Or something. I didn’t understand this whole thing, actually, unless we were supposed to feel something about Artie and Becky? Perhaps I’m just not giving the opposite-sex couples on this show my full attention.