“Glee” Episode 309 Recap: No Box

When we come back, we enter the Gstaad chalet mid-conversation. “And then I said to Justin Timberlake, ‘That’s not egg nog!’” Kurt’s telling Rachel. (Laugh track.)

Blaine comments on how heavy the snow is, and Kurt turns to the camera and does a little PSA on global climate change.

“I think these are the end times,” Mercedes agrees. Then everyone laughs.

The door opens, and Finn and Puck come in, dressed as Luke Skywalker and Hans Solo. They sing “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” on the electric guitar and drum kit that suddenly appeared next to the tree. And Blaine plays the harmonica.

And then… ding dong! It’s the Cheerios! With streamers! And they sing back-up for Brittany’s “Christmas Wrapping.” I’m sure it was awesome but Heather Morris’ bare thighs distracted me to the point where I couldn’t really focus on the song. Except at the end, when she and Santana dance over to the sofa, where they sit and hold hands and cuddle, Santana’s head on Brittany’s shoulder.

I was totally happy but then Rory walks in wearing his elf-suit and reads the Christian bible story, just like in “A Charlie Brown Christmas.” And the whole thing deeply affects everyone, including devout Jews Puck and Rachel, and I’m no longer enjoying this.

At the homeless shelter, Sam and Quinn are helping Sue dish out food when the Glee Club shows up, with food and presents, and everyone sings the Band Aid 80s classic, “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” I loved that song – I was living in the UK when it came out, and had seen a lot of those artists live – and I hope it raises lots of money for Band Aid and that it gains a lot of new fans, but overall I thought it was one of New Directions’ weaker big group numbers.

The whole end of the episode kind of dragged out, actually. We’re back at McKinley, and Finn has bought Rachel one of those star registry stars. He named it “Finn Hudson” so she could always know he’s looking down on her. He also got her the earrings she wanted.

But greedy!Rachel’s small heart has grown three sizes. She returns the earrings, as well as the iSomething – I couldn’t tell if it was “pod” or “pad” –  she’s bought for him, and they donate the money to the Salvation Army, where Sam and Rory are bonding and ringing bells. Finn and Rachel join them ringing bells, and Rachel finally remembers she’s Jewish and wishes a passer-by a Happy Hanukah.


And that’s it until January 17. Happy Solstikwanzanukahmas to everyone from me!

Next page! My favorite #gaysharks tweets from last night…

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