“Glee” Episode 308 Recap: Growing Up Glee

As if that wasn’t gut-wrenching enough, Mike breaks the news to Tina that he couldn’t take the silent treatment from his father, and he’s applied to a pre-med program at Stanford. She tries to change his mind, but they end up fighting and Mike storms off.

Back in the choir room, Sam and Blaine get into a big fight that I don’t understand at all. Because the Troubletones are a red-hot all-girl group, Sam is recommending that the New Directions try to sex up their performance – you know, just how Blaine wanted to do with the Warblers when he and Kurt sang “Animal” with the giant phallic ejaculating soap bubble hose? – and illustrates his point with a little bump-and-grind.

Blaine goes nuts. “We don’t have to resort to that,” he says. “It’s cheap. It’s selling out.”

“I came back here to win,” Sam says. “When you’re desperate, sometimes you gotta use your assets in order to get back the advantage. This…” he thrusts again… “is the advantage.”

“Of course that’s what you think; you have to think that in order to sleep at night.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“It means,” Blaine says, “that I’m not for sale.” Then they start to fight, and Will breaks it up. Blaine storms out while Kurt does nothing at all. In fact, we got exactly zero reaction shots of Kurt after Blaine and Sam started in on each other.

This whole thing makes no sense to me. Was it just a plot device to get us to angry!Blaine in the next scene? If so, I’m okay with that, because I really really like angry!Blaine, who is pounding on a punching bag, sweat pouring down his face and body, when Finn walks in.

“Is that Sam’s face?” Finn asks.

“Yup. Yours, too.” Blaine glances at him. “Don’t act so surprised. After getting bullied so much, I took up boxing. I also started the Dalton branch of Fight Club, which…” BAM… “I obviously…” BAM… “can’t talk about.” BAM.

He turns to face Finn. “What is your problem with me, anyway? Ever since I got here you’ve given me nothing but crap.”

Finn is all flushed and earnest. “Honestly, dude, I was kind of jealous. I felt threatened. Your talent kind of freaked me out. Made me question whether or not I was good enough. Blaine, I’m sorry. I’ve been acting like a jackass to you.”

Blaine makes a gesture with his entire body that sums up pretty much how I’m feeling right now. I think it can best be expressed in words as, “WTF?”

But Finn’s not done. “With Rachel gone, you’re the most talented, well-rounded member of this team, and now more than ever we need to be on the same page. United.”

And then Blaine gives a little nod and says, “Tell me what you need me to do.”

Blaine, sweetie? Go back to punching things. And I don’t like St. Finn. At all.

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