“Glee” Episode 306 Recap: World War Glee

 
 

Everyone thinks it’s a great idea, including Santana. But
Mercedes lays down the law: Her battle with Finn is over.

“Oh, no, honey, I’m just getting started,” Santana
says.

Mercedes says she’s the leader of the Troubletones, and a
quickie vote of the rest of the group confirms it; Brittany is the only dissenting vote other
than Santana.

“Mercedes is right,” says Shelby. “We should all be focusing on
winning because we are better, not meaner.” She says they’re going to play
fair.

“I just don’t have time for this kind of
thinking,” Santana says.

“We’ll make time,” Mercedes says. “Because
you are a star member of this group. And you need to represent.”

And then Brittany
leans her head into Santana’s, and sings, “Stop the violence.” And
they giggle and look at each other and smile, and Brittany says, “Come on,” and
Santana laughs and does this cute thing with her hand. And she can’t stop
laughing and almost blushing, and just says, “Okay, okay. I’ll play fair.
From now on, I’ll be so nice that cotton candy won’t melt in my mouth.”
And she and Brittany look at each other and laugh-smile some more while
Mercedes beams.

Possibly the cutest ten seconds in television history.

However, everything is now about to change.

Santana sees Finn and Rory in the hall, and calls out,
“Hey, Tubs. Can I talk to you for a second?”

“Listen here,” Rory says. “You can’t make fun
of Finn anymore.”

“Shut your potato hole,” she says. “I’m here
to apologize.” She turns to Finn. “Rachel’s right. I haven’t been
fair to you. You’re not fat. I should know. I slept with you. And at some point
I must have liked that you look like a taco addict who’s had one too many
back-alley liposuctions.

Rory objects, and she says, “Please stick a sock in it,
or ship yourself back to Scotland.
I’m trying to apologize to Lumps the Clown.”

Back to Finn. “I’m sorry, Finn. Really. I mean I’m
sorry that the New Directions are going to get crushed by the Troubletones. I’m
also sorry that you have no talent. I’m sorry you sing like you’re getting your
prostate checked, and you dance like you’ve been asleep for years, and someone
just woke you up. Have fun riding on Rachel’s coattails for the rest of your
life, although, you know what? I would just watch out for her around holiday
time if I were him…” and then it just gets worse.

It’s so bad and un-funny that it doesn’t, for a minute, seem
really like Santana. I was kind of lost here, to be honest.

Anyway, she flounces off down the hall, pony-tail swaying,
and Finn icily turns around and calls after her, “Hey, Santana. Why don’t
you just come out of the closet?”

She freezes.

“You know,” Finn says, walking slowly toward her.
“I think I know why you’re so good at tearing everybody else down. It’s
because you’re constantly tearing yourself down because you can’t admit to
everybody that you’re in love with Brittany,
and she might not love you back. That must hurt, not to be able to admit to
everyone how you really feel. You know what I think you are? A coward. See you
at the mash-off.”

I am not happy with Santana in this scene, but right now, I
never want to see Finn Hudson’s face again. Really, outing her at the top of
his lungs in the hallway of a school where his own stepbrother was pushed,
beaten, and had his life threatened because he was gay? And wanting not to
suffer what Kurt did makes her a coward? Really? And it’s not like we aren’t clearly shown at least one
cheerleader double-taking on what he’s saying.

And to all the fans on Tumblr and Facebook saying insulting
someone’s looks, however strongly, is remotely equivalent to what Finn did?
Bite me.

Back in unrealistic cartoon land, Sue has another campaign
ad, this one targeting Carol, Burt’s wife and Finn’s mom. She says that Burt
has married a donkey — or rather, is
there any evidence he hasn’t?

Burt tells Will he has to “start fighting fire with
fire. Put your thinking cap on.”

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