“Glee” Episode 305 Recap: “Make of Our Hearts, One Heart”

 
 

A confused Rachel has called an emergency meeting of
“her girls.” Even though she says she realizes they’re “a house
divided,” she needs their help. She reminds them of their Madonna episode
girl-power from season one (okay, she doesn’t call it season one), and asks their
advice on having sex with Finn.

First, she tells them what happened, and that she hurt Finn.

Tina says, “Of course he was hurt.”

And Brittany, who was recently pretty pissed off at Finn,
says, “That’s really bad, Rachel.”

Rachel knows. She feels terrible.

“You want my advice?” Quinn asks. Rachel nods.
“Just wait. Look what happened to me.”

“You could have used protection,” says Tina.

“I’m not just talking about getting pregnant,”
Quinn says. “I’m talking about losing something you can never get back. It
changes you. It makes everything more complicated.”

Santana, filing her nails to more appropriately represent
for lesbians, weighs in. “I also think you should wait. Speaking from
experience, Finn is terrible in bed.”

“Santana, that is not cool,” Tina says.

“What, if Rachel wants my sloppy seconds, she should at
least know the truth,” Santana answers. “Look, it was like being
smothered by a sweaty out of breath sack of potatoes that someone soaked in
body spray.” And we have the best line of the night.

And next, the most troubling one. Brittany says, “I lost my virginity at cheerleading
camp. He just climbed into my tent. Alien invasion.” Really having some
trouble coping with that.

So it looks like Rachel’s going to wait — until Tina speaks
about her first time with Mike, in another lovely scene, this time intercut
with the beautiful slow ballad section of “A Boy Like That,” where Maria sings to Anita about
her love for Tony, “I have a love, and it’s all that I have…”

“Losing my virginity was a great experience for
me,” Tina tells her. “Because I was with someone I loved. It happened
during the summer, and Mike and I talked about it for a while, because we knew
it was going to be something we’d remember forever. (Music… “I love
him…”) And when that moment came, we just knew. It was right. It wasn’t
rushed, it was amazing. (Rachel flashes back to a memory of seeing Finn in the
hall, faces lighting up.) He’s my first love. And I’ll always look back on that
moment as absolutely perfect. No regrets.

And that is how I went from thinking Tina and Artie were
endgame to being, “Tina and Mike forever.”

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