“Glee” Episode 305 Recap: “Make of Our Hearts, One Heart”

 
 

Finn and Rachel are at their romantic dinner, but it gets
off to a troubling start when she compliments the meal for being the only meat
substitute she’s ever eaten that tastes like real meat. Finn, it seems, has
forgotten his true love is a vegan, although how after that egg-throwing thing
with Jesse St. James, I have no
idea.

Rather than tell her, he offers pound cake, which last I
checked required massive amounts of butter and eggs and really is not on the
vegan menu, either.

They share a sparkling apple cider toast, and Rachel declines
dessert, saying she wants to snuggle in front of the fire, which it turns out
is code for lose her virginity to make herself into a better actor.

And when she admits that, it guts poor Finn.

Back at McKinley, Mike
is putting his books in his locker when his father appears out of nowhere and
slams it shut. “When were you going to tell me?”

“Tell you what?”

“That you’re doing the school musical. I overheard your
mother talking about it on the phone. You lied to me, and you made a liar out
of your mother. You will quit. Immediately.”

But Mike isn’t backing down this time. “No. I love
being a dancer.”

“When I was in high school, I wanted to be a tennis
player. But then I had to wake up and realize I wasn’t good enough. Grow up,
Michael. You have to learn the difference between grown up dreams and kid
dreams.”

Mike continues to resist. “I’m not going to be a
doctor. I will be a professional dancer. I’ll pay my own way through college. I
don’t want your money.”

“As long as you continue to waste your life with this
silly fantasy, you will no longer be my son.”

“Then I guess I don’t have a dad anymore.”

And Mr. Chang
leaves Mike standing there. And all I want to do is lock Mr. Chang in a room
with Burt Hummel so he can learn how
to be a real father to his son.

In the next scene, Cooter walks in on Coach Beiste doing
bench presses. He makes a little joke about how much he can bench, which she
doesn’t get, at which point he offers her a dozen red roses. Seems he took
Artie’s advice and went for “obvious.” And yet… she asks if he’s on
his way to a graveyard. And when he tells her they’re for her, she says,
“Why? I’m not sick.”

He says, “I want to take you out on a date. A real
honest to god, sit down date, where you dress up like a lady and I dress up
like a gentleman.”

She thinks someone put him up to it, or he’s making fun of
her. And he asks why she can’t believe he’s attracted to her.

“Because you’re the kind of man who could have any
pretty girl he pointed at. I don’t look the way pretty girls look.”

“Well, good. Because I don’t date girls. I just date women.
Beautiful women. Like you. Now take the flowers. Come on.”

She does, and because I love me some Shannon Beiste, I cheer
out loud.

He stands up. “So. Friday. After the game.” THEY
ARE ON!

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