Artie rolls alongside the recruiter in the hallway and asks
him to come into his office.
“You don’t mean the handicap stall, do you?” he
“No,” Artie says. “But that is hilarious.”
Artie spells it out for Cooter. If he likes-likes Coach
Beiste, he has to ask her out again, and much more clearly. I love Artie here.
Although Cooter calls him Andy.
While Artie’s playing matchmaker, Blaine is meeting Sebastian for coffee at the
Lima Bean (best name of a coffee shop in teevee history.)
can’t believe that Sebastian asked (fruitlessly) for a shot of Courvoisier in
“I forget how lame this town is,” Sebastian says.
“When I lived in Paris, I drank it like mother’s milk.” The two boys
“When you lived in… Wow. You’re just so, you know
you’re just so out there.” Blaine seems… yes, flustered. He does it well.
Sebastian looks at him across the table. “And your
whole bashful schoolboy thing? Super hot.”
“Look, Sebastian. I have a boyfriend.”
“Doesn’t bother me if it doesn’t bother you.”
seems suddenly less flustered. Just talking about his bebe does this for him.
They are clearly OTP 4ever, right? “No, I mean I really care about
“He doesn’t need to know.”
“I just never want to mess my thing up with him in any
way. He’s really great…”
And then Kurt appears. “Who’s really great?”
Blaine, who was, by the way, doing nothing at all wrong,
jumps guiltily. “You! We were just talking about you.”
Oh, the look Kurt gives Sebastian.
“Sebastian, this is Kurt, my boyfriend, who I was just…
Sebastian = not dumb. “Got it.”
Kurt and Sebastian shake hands while Kurt gives the other
guy a look that were I to see it would most likely cause me to run away
screaming in terror.
swallows some coffee, and looks like he wants to die.
Kurt’s voice drips ice. “Pleasure.” He looks down
“And, how do we know Sebastian?”
Sebastian doesn’t give the once-again flustered Blaine a chance to
respond. “We met at Dalton.
I’ve been dying to meet Blaine.
Those Warblers just won’t shut up about him. I didn’t think he could live up to
the hype, but as it turns out…”
giggles helplessly. Kurt starts to sit down next to Blaine.
“Yes, it turns out he’s even more impressive in the
flesh.” He loops his arm tightly
Sebastian’s face brightens. He’s just had a wonderful idea.
A terrible, wonderful idea. “Hey, what are you guys doing tomorrow
Kurt kind of snuggles Blaine
tighter. “Well, we’re rehearsing for the school musical, and then at
bedtime we do a rigorous skin-sloughing regimen over the phone together.”
Sebastian manages not to laugh at our boys. “And as
sexy as that sounds, what do you say we shake things up? I get you guys a
couple of fake IDs, and we head over to Scandals in West
Blaine murmurs to Kurt that that’s “the gay bar.”
Because such was not apparent from the context and there’s always room for just
a little excessive exposition in any show.
“The last time I was there,” Sebastian says,
“I met the man of my dreams on the dance floor.”
“That’s so sweet,” Kurt purrs. “And are you
two still together?”
“Sadly, no. We broke up around 20 minutes after we
met.” He grins at them. “Come on, guys, live a little.”
puts on his best country club manners. “We’d love to, Sebastian, that’s
very nice of you and thank you for the offer, but that just isn’t our kind of
But Kurt has other ideas. “Let’s do it.”
“Yeah. I mean, we have a whole bunch of firsts to start
crossing off our list. We’re in.”
looks shell shocked, but he obviously learned long ago that it’s best not to
get in the way of Kurt when he’s on a mission.