“Glee” Episode 304 Recap: “Lord Tubbington Thinks You’re Purrfect, and So Do I.”

 
 

In the next scene, Santana spies Rory Leprechaun and lays
down the law. “Do not even think about talking for the next 30
seconds,” she tells him, pony tail snapping. “Nod so I know you
understand me.”

He nods.

“Good. Here’s the deal, Pixie Boy. You’ve got a crush on my girl,
Brittany. I understand. She’s beautiful, she’s innocent, she’s everything
that’s good in this miserable, stinking world. Do you agree? Nod.”

He nods again. Lesbians faint, Twitter explodes. You know
the drill.

“Good. Also, she thinks you’re a spritely green
mythological creature. But you and I know you’re just a potato-eating poser.
But since Brittany
likes having a pet Irish, I’m not going to explode you. So here’s what’s going
to go down.”

We don’t hear what it is, but what Santana expects is to
have a wish of her own granted. She flounces off, leaving a stunned Rory
behind.

In the next scene, Rory is in Brittany’s
bedroom when she walks in, Lord Tubbington in her arms. “Lord Tubbington
snuck out and I found him at Arby’s,” she says. “How did you get in
my room?”

He tells her he blinked, and she buys it. Then he tells her that Santana discovered
he was a leprechaun, and her one wish, which he has to grant, is to have Brittany join the new
glee club. Brittany
is dismayed, because she doesn’t want to hurt her friends.

Meanwhile (this is a word I never use except when writing
recaps), Will goes to Burt’s business and says he wants him to run against Sue.
Turns out Burt had already decided that on his own. He has to run as a write-in
candidate, but figures at least his name is easier to spell than “that
chick in Alaska”
(Lisa Murkowski). The Sarah Palin/Alaska references in this episode are really
mounting up.

Burt is going to run on a platform of saving the arts. He
tells Will, “Your glee club saved my kid’s life. Turns out art can do
that.” Awwww. I love Burt so much.

Will wants to be his campaign manager, and Burt says, “Kurt already
claimed the gig, but I guess he’s gonna need some adult supervision, so welcome
aboard.”

Shelby
is pacing around her condo with a crying Beth. She’s putting her in her crib,
looking like she’s going to cry herself, when there’s a knock at her door. It’s
Puck, thanking her for getting him the pool job in her building. He asks to use
her bathroom, and uses it as an opportunity to remove all the things Quinn had
planted. He sings a really weak version of a weak song, Foreigner‘s “Waiting For a Girl Like You,” which quiets
her down. Then he and Shelby have a heart to heart that’s totally inappropriate
for a woman in her 40s to be having with a 17-year-old boy who fathered her
adopted baby.

At McKinley, Rory tells Finn that Brittany is leaving New Directions, and Finn
storms
up to her in the hall. “Is it true?”

“No, of course not,” she says.

“So you’re not leaving the Glee Club?”

“Oh, I thought you meant the Selena Gomez pregnancy rumors.”

Finn tries to talk her out of it by stressing what a family they are, but
Santana walks up and cuts him off.

“You are such a bacon-wrapped, bug-eyed hypocrite. It’s hilarious how
jealous of Blaine you are,” says the girl
who pouted for an hour after pulling Brittany
away from gay Blaine.
“Every time he opens his dreamboat acapella mouth, you’re just itching to
kick him in the warblers.”

Finn doesn’t respond to her, just begs Brittany
again. She says she didn’t want to leave, but explains about the Rory
Leprechaun wish. Finn blows up, telling her leprechauns aren’t real, neither is
Santa, and it’s time for her to “grow up and stopping being such an
idiot.”

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