Kurt storms into the choir room and says, “Jesse St.
James Jesse St. Sucks. He thinks I shouldn’t be singing girls’ songs. I make my
living singing girls’ songs.”
Rachel defends Jesse (oh, Rachel!), and Mercedes rolls her
eyes and says they know she’s in love with Jesse. Rachel insists that they
shouldn’t make anything out of the fact that she and Jesse had feelings for
each other, and then it’s Kurt’s turn to roll his eyes.
“Correction,” he says. “You had feelings for
him. He made breakfast on your head.”
Santana tells them not to bother with the whole thing, since
she “kicked that song in the balls” and she’s going to win the whole
Mercedes stands up and stalks out of the room, saying,
“Don’t bother warming up, Rachel. I’m going to wrap this thing up like a
Christmas present.” It’s the night for haughty exits on Glee. I like this trend.
I’m not totally wild about Mercedes’ song, “Try a
Little Tenderness.” I agree she slams it home, but it felt somewhat
predictable as a performance.
Will loved it. He tells her that it reminded her of the
first time she auditioned for Glee Club, and how great she was then but how far
she’s come – how far they’ve all come.
Jesse, of course, is having none of it. He says,
“You’re not a star. You’re just a girl who can really sing.” He also
tells her that she’s lazy, which I believe is code for “fat and
black.” I really hate him so very, very much.
So does Mercedes. She grasps the mike stand, and stalks off
stage, dragging it. “I hate him,” she hisses at Rachel as she passes
How many times have I used the word “stalk”
tonight? But there’s really nothing else that can describe it. Seriously.
Rachel sings Barbra Streisand’s “My Man” from Funny Girl. Before she begins, Jesse
asks if she’s thinking of anyone in particular when she sings it, and she says
no – leaving him looking crushed. And she’s lying, too, because we see inside
her mind, and it’s Finn she’s singing to. And at the end of the song, she’s
She’s awesome. She’s astonishing. I’m sorry that I don’t
like the song, or even the genre. I suck and I apologize from my heart. But I
couldn’t wait for it be over.
When it was, Kurt, who was also crying, whispers to
Mercedes, “She may be difficult, but boy, can she sing.” Then he leaps
to his feet clapping and shouting, “Bravo!”
Of course, Jesse liked it – what’s not to like, and besides,
she could have sung “It Ain’t Easy Being Green” and he’d have said
she won. Santana leaps up shouting that the whole thing is rigged, and Mr. Schue
reminds them that the decision is his, and he needs a couple of days to make
Let me remind everyone the clock is ticking. They’re going
to what, write their original songs, arrange them, learn them, and choreograph
them, all in a day? Do they still even have a day? I know a bunch of you are
going to tell me to relax and suspend disbelief and remind me this is Glee, but it’s really really bugging me.
Meanwhile or the next day or, for all I know, a hundred
years in the future (it’s Glee,
right?), Kurt and Finn a helping Sue go through Jean’s things. She tells them
to throw everything out, saving only one stuffed animal Jean had since she was
6. She tells Kurt to keep the video tape of Willy
Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. “It was her favorite movie. She
watched it at least three times a week.”
Finn doesn’t want to throw everything out, telling Sue there
are a lot of memories there.
“I’m not short on memories of my sister,” she
tells him. She also tells them that they’re making her feel worse, not better.
“So do me a favor and take all this stuff to the dumpster on your way to
rehearse whatever treacly ballad you’re planning on using to ruin my sister’s
Kurt can’t take it anymore, and bursts out, “Why did
you agree to this, then? If you hate us so much, then why are you letting the
Glee Club plan the service?”