“Glee” Episode 217 Recap: Vicious, Vicious Words

 
 

Kurt has come back to McKinley to attend the benefit,
boyfriend Blaine in tow. Kurt’s showing Blaine
the school, when Artie and Brittany go by; Artie thanks the guys for showing up
to support them.

Kurt stares longingly after them, and Blaine gently says, “Awww, you miss them?”

And then Karofsky’s there. “What are you doing here?”

“We’re here for the benefit,” Kurt says.
“Don’t tell me you’re going?”

“I wouldn’t be caught dead,” Karofsky sneers.
“I was pumping iron in the gym, and one of the guys told me you two were
here spreading your fairy dust all over the place.”

“Would you just give it up?” Blaine says, sounding weary. “You can
live whatever lie you want, but don’t pretend that the three of us don’t know
what’s really going on here.”

In the background, we see Santana, although none of the guys
notices her.

“You don’t know squat, butt boy,” Karofsky says,
and Blaine
shoves him (!).

Karofsky goes after him, and Santana flies into action,
breaking it up before it gets started by getting right in there. Go, Santana!

“You’re real brave with your fists,” Kurt says,
“but you’re a coward when it comes to the truth.”

Santana looks bewildered. “Truth about what?” she
asks.

“None of your business, J-Lo,” Karofsky tells her.

We get a fast flash-back to Karofsky slushy-ing Santana, and
she says, “First of all, everything you do became my business when you
decided to toss that slushy up in my grill.”

“I think I can
take a couple of queers and a girl,” he says.

She laughs, dangerously. “Let me tell you how it’s
going to go down. You stay here, and I crack one of your nuts. Right or left,
that’s your choice. Or you walk away, and live to be a douche bag another day.
Oh, and also? I have razor blades hidden in my hair. Mmm hmmm, tons hidden all
up in there. Mmm hmmm.” And she swaggers as the turns around and faces
Kurt and Blaine, while Karofsky runs off.

My love of Santana Lopez is too big to express with typing.

Blaine looks admiringly at
her while Kurt flutters his eyelids adorably, but Blaine just says, “We could have handled
that.”

“It was more fun doing it together,” she says with
a sweet smile that seems uncharacteristic and yet… so lovely. Oh, my little
band of queer Gleeks. You make me forgive the steaming mediocrity that is the
rest of this episode.

Okay, so, Santana’s phone beeps and she curses. Sunshine has
just tweeted that she won’t be at the benefit after all, and tells her 600
followers, none of whom had bought a ticket yet even though the show is
literally already beginning, not to come, either. And there are only six people
there, basically no one but the members of the Heckler’s Club. Ummm, don’t any
of the Glee kids have parents?

Tina goes first, trying to sing Lykke Li’s “I Follow
Rivers,”but breaks down in the
face of the heckling.

Backstage, Mr. Schue says they have to buck up and learn to play
for hostile audiences, and he knows a way. Finn and Rachel hand out saltwater
taffy; the hecklers can’t heckle with their mouths full.

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