“Glee” Episode 217 Recap: Vicious, Vicious Words

 
 

Out in the halls of McKinley High, Sue spots a sunglassed
Dustin lurking at the bottom of the stairs on a spy mission. “Sergeant
Handsome,” she says, “Walk with me.”

His assignment: To break up Will and Holly, in order to
destroy Will’s spirit like the League of Doom is going to destroy the Glee
kids’ confidence.

Sue and Sandy also create a new school club – for hecklers.
Its members are Becky Jackson, Jacob Ben Israel, and Azimio Adams (James Earl). If you think that’s a
pretty sparse description, well, it’s actually more than it deserves. These
kids are mercilessly stalked in the halls and doused with red dye number 4 on a
daily basis, and heckling will
destroy their will to perform?

The Glee kids are talking about what they’ll do at the
benefit. Mike is going to dance (of course). Tina is going to do a song by Lykke Li, and Mercedes is going to sing
some Aretha.

Lauren questions
that last, given that Ms. Franklin is the “Queen of Soul,” and Mercedes
points out that it’s the Glee Club that’s been neglecting her; they haven’t
done a single Aretha number since Mercedes auditioned with “Respect.”

“Awesome, Mercedes,” enthuses Rachel.
“Awesome, all of you guys! Those songs are great appetizers to my main
course, Celine Dion‘s ‘My Heart Will
Go On.’”

Tina points out that’s “like, the biggest song of all
time,” Rachel shakes her head. “Celine Dion isn’t the neglected
artist,” she says. “I am.” Oh, delusional Rachel.

Finn races up, saying that Sunshine Corazon (Charice,
who by the way, demonstrates conclusively in this scene that while she can
definitely sing, she cannot act. It’s painful) is in the house.

Sunshine wants to perform to benefit the Brainiacs, because
she knows what it’s like to be a smart student who studies hard and gets no
respect. (She was on the Carmel High team that the Brainiacs beat on Smartypants.)

The kids accuse her of being a spy, and Artie points out
that, being so small, she could have hung out in the air vents for days. Brittany agrees.

But Sunshine says she isn’t a spy and has nothing against
anyone in the McKinley Glee Club. Then she sweetens the pot. “I have 600
Twitter followers. I can get all of them to come.”

Since the club has only sold four tickets so far, it works.
Sunshine wants to sing the song “All By Myself,” another Celine Dion
standard. At the risk of offending Kurt
Hummel
, I have to admit I really can’t stand Celine Dion, and this song in
particular makes me want to pour hot wax in my ears.

Sunshine, however really, really can sing. Only 600 Twitter
followers for someone that awesome? Really?

So Rachel’s misgivings/guilty conscience aside, they
enthusiastically applaud and welcome Sunshine to the benefit team.

In a last effort to derail the Sunshine Express, Rachel points
out that Mercedes is now going to get pushed to third billing as a female
soloist. Mercedes isn’t happy, but she accepts it – to Lauren’s dismay.

Ms. Zizes strolls up to Mercedes later in the library and
asks for her yellow patent leather high-top sneakers in exchange for her own
dirty flip flops. Mercedes is all, “Huh?”, and Lauren explains that
Mercedes needs some “Respect” of her own, and offers to be her
manager for a 10 percent cut… of what, I’m not sure. Saltwater taffy?

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