“Glee” Episode 217 Recap: Vicious, Vicious Words

 
 

Dear Glee,

While you were gone, I was faithful and true. I watched old
episodes on my DVR. I got into heated debates on Twitter about where the season was
going from here. I waxed passionate with friends who do not watch Glee, explaining why it was really as
good as its popularity would indicate, despite the plot holes and stuff.

I don’t regret my devotion, dearest Glee, but I do regret the hour I spent watching “Night of
Neglect,” or rather, I regret slightly less than one hour because there
were a few minutes that were worth the wait.

I hope, my beloved little show, that next week lives up to
the expectations raised by the preview for a ninety minute episode with Kurt wearing an adorable hat, because
otherwise, darlingest Gleester, our love may be put to a terrible test.

Yours devotedly… etc.

Okay, was last night’s episode that bad? Yeah, it kind of
was. Not bad, perhaps, so much as boring. And a strain.

It turns out Sue
hid the Cheerio’s budget that was supposed to go to the Glee Club to send them
to New York in the Cayman Islands, so they need to raise $5,000 for the trip to
New York City for Nationals.

While they’re scheming on how to raise the money – Mr. Schuester wants to do it by selling
saltwater taffy, until Santana sets
him straight – Mike Chang stands up
and does a diva-esque walk-out.

It turns out he, Artie,
Tina and Brittany belong to an academic club called The Brainiacs, and they
went on the Smartypants show and won,
largely due to Brittany’s encyclopedic knowledge of cat diseases.

Mike is pissed off because his fellow Glee Clubbers are all
wrapped up in their own problems and don’t care about the Brainiacs’ woes.
Specifically, they can’t advance to the next level of smartness competition, to
be held in Detroit,
without enough money to send the club there.

Hmmmm; is there some kind of word for when you make up a new
thing that didn’t exist before and we never, ever heard about and now it’s a
big deal because you needed it to make some point you wanted to make and
couldn’t figure out how to make with your existing huge cast and complicated
web of inter-related plots and characters?

Oh, yeah. “Plot device.”

Although it’s all worth it to learn that Brittany knows everything there is to know
about cat diseases. She is so a lesbian.

Sue, of course, can’t let go of her vendetta against Will
and the Glee Club. She’s recruited a number of “enemies of Glee”: Sandy Ryerson, “defrocked educator
and legendary friend of Dorothy,” Dustin
Goolsby
(Cheyenne Jackson), the
coach of rival show choir Vocal Adrenaline, and Will’s ex, Terri.

Sandy
hits on Dustin, who sneers back that he’s not gay – a twist I didn’t really see
coming and, by the way, don’t believe. Sandy
doesn’t much care, saying he’s a “predatory gay.” I start to have a
headache.

Sue dubs her minions the League of Doom, with Sandy as “The Pink
Dagger,” Terri as “Honey Badger, nature’s most ferocious warrior;
look it up on YouTube,” and Dustin as “Sergeant Handsome.” Sue,
of course, is General Zod.

Next, we cut to Will and Holly Holliday (Gwyneth
Paltrow
, back again) having pizza. “I am both awesome and
unavailable,” Gwyneth tells him, just before she tells him his
taffy-selling idea sucks, and the Glee Club needs to have a benefit to raise
money.

Will tells the club they’re going to do a “Night of
Neglect,” featuring artists whose work is under-appreciated.

“Like me,” sighs Rachel.

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