“Glee” Episode 216 Recap: Gay Romance and Rockin’ Regionals


Puck, too, wrote
a song, he says; this one, for Lauren.
He thinks it will make up for hurting her feelings with “Fat Bottomed
Girls,” and it’s called “Big Assed… Heart.”

In this case, it’s not the lyrics I want to share with you,
but Mike Chang‘s hand gestures.

Will says that neither of those songs are quite what they’re
going for. Ya think?

Out in the hall, Quinn pressures Finn about campaigning for
prom king and queen, and when he starts to waver and suggests they wait until
after Nationals, she gives him the eye and says, “First it was after
Regionals, now it’s after Nationals. Do you want to be in this relationship or

“Woah,” he says. “Scary Quinn. Okay. Uh,
after Regionals.”

They walk down the hall hand in hand, and we see that
Rachel’s overheard the whole thing.

Back at Dalton,
Kurt is gluing sequins on Pavarotti’s little casket (of course he is) when Blake
strolls in. He seems nervous, and says he’s chosen “Candles” by Hey Monday for their duet.

“I’m impressed,” Kurt says, tipping his head
adorably. “You’re usually so top 40.”

“Well,” Blaine
says, sitting next to Kurt, “I just wanted something more… emotional.”

Does Kurt blush or get flustered? He does not. He gives Blaine a look and asks,
“Why did you pick me to sing that song with?” You go, you brave boy.

looks ten times more nervous, and also somewhat adorable, and says, slowly,
“Kurt, there is a moment when you say to yourself, ‘Oh! There you are!’
I’ve been looking for you forever.” He takes Kurt’s hand.

“Watching you do ‘Blackbird,’ that was the moment for
me. About you. You move me, Kurt.”

Kurt’s face breaks in the most beautiful way.

“And this duet would just be an excuse to spend more
time with you.” And then Blaine leans so far
forward he’s half out of his seat, and kisses Kurt. Really kisses him, long and
hard, faces pressed close together, Kurt’s hand finally rising up to touch his face.
And I swear, this one’s romantic enough even for Kurt’s little
Broadway-musical-loving heart.

Blaine is all happy and
embarrassed, and kind of ducks his head and puts his hand over his face – Blaine!
Mr. Cool! – and Kurt is just staring and full of amazement. And then Blaine
blushes and says they should practice, and Kurt says, “I thought we
were,” and then they’re kissing again, and it’s clear they’re going to be
doing that for quite a while… although that’s all we see.

After ripping my heart out with Santana’s confession of love
for Brittany
last week, Glee just gave it back to
me with this tender scene. It’s not because I’m some huge Klaine shipper –
truly, I just want Kurt to be happy, and half the time, Blaine annoys the crap out of me. So it’s not
that; it’s the simple sweetness of this first kiss. I really need to go buy
these boys ponies now.

The next scene is Mercedes being her diva self singing a
self-penned number called “Hell to the No,” with the backup song and
dance services of most of the Glee Club, especially Ms. Brittany S. Pierce
rocking her floppy red garden hat for all she’s worth, and Santana dancing
around the piano. Sam writes “Hell no!” on his notebook and holds it

She nails it, but Mr. Schu is still not convinced it’s the
right song for Regionals. Santana tells him, “Mr. Schu, I wrote another
verse of ‘Trouty Mouth,’” and Sam holds up his little “Hell no”
sign again. Hah!

He asks the students what their favorite song is.

“‘My Headband,’” says Brittany.

Alanis Morissette‘s
‘You Oughta Know,’” says Santana. (Of course she does.)

“‘What’s Goin’ On,’ Marvin Gaye,” says Puck, to Lauren’s delight.

What do they all have in common? They’re all about pain,
says Will.

This naturally leads them to think about all the cruel things
Sue has done to them, and the ways they’re treated like losers, and how it
makes them mad and drives them to want to win.

“You guys, I think you may have just found
yourselves.” And he circles the phrase, “Loser Like Me.”

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