“Glee” Episode 216 Recap: Gay Romance and Rockin’ Regionals

Quinn is spying
on the two of them
, and mentally voice-overs that she’s going to do her
damndest to hang onto Finn so they can be prom queen and king. In the spirit of
“keep your friends close and your enemies closer,” she decides to
cultivate a friendship with Rachel.

Back in Kurt’s bedroom, he and Pavarotti are whistling a
duet when the little canary keels over dead. We cut immediately to a Warbler’s
council meeting, where Blaine
is scandalizing everyone by suggesting they change the color of their ties for
their performance at Regionals, when a black-clad, pale, tear-streaked Kurt
walks in.

“What’s wrong, Kurt?” asks an obviously concerned Blaine.

It turns out the loss of Pavarotti has hit our boy hard.
“He inspired me with his optimism and his love of song,” Kurt says,
crying. “He was my friend.” He takes a deep breath. “Now, I know
that today we meet to practice do-wopping behind Blaine while he sings every solo in a medley
of P!nk songs, but I’d like to sing
a song for Pavarotti today.”

He hands a cassette tape… a cassette tape? Hasn’t he been
making CDs for his friends for a while now?… to some random Warbler and then
sings “Blackbird,” one of like three Beatles‘ songs I can stand. Don’t hate me.

He weeps throughout the song, he kicks its butt (of course),
and throughout it all, Blaine
stares at him like he’s never seen him before. And sings backup. My life is now officially complete.

In the choir room, Will
is breaking the bad news to the kids that My
Chemical Romance
‘s attorneys have issued a cease and desist letter,
preventing them from performing “Sing” at Regionals as they’d

“How much do you want to bet Coach Sylvester had something to do with this?” Mercedes says.

“One step ahead of you,” responds Will, and we get
a flashback of him confronting Sue with the letter

“Do you know anything about this?” he roars.

“I do,” she says calmly. “Now, I met the
drummer from My Chemical Romance at a drum circle, spring break, 1996. We had a
brief affair.” So of course, she ratted out New Directions for performing
their song.

“You took away my Cheerios,” she says.
“Consider this the first salvo of World War Sue.”

This re-awakens Rachel’s idea of performing original songs
at Regionals
, and this time, her new frenemy, Quinn, supports the idea. Finn
happily trots at heel like the puppy dog he is, and in the end, the group
decides they’ll all come up with some original songs for Regionals.

Santana is
standing at her locker when Brittany walks
. “Hey,” Brittany
says, soft and sad. “Can I ask you a question? We used to be really close,
and I really miss being your friend.”

“Still waiting for the question,” snaps Santana.

“Did I do something wrong?” Oh, Brittany. Sob.

“I don’t know, did you?” Santana says, turning to
look at her. “All I know is you blew me off to be with Stubbles
McCripplepants.” Ouch. “But it’s your loss. Because now I get the
chance to write a heterosexual song
about Sam, that we’re going to sing
at Regionals.”

“Wait. You’re still dating Sam?” Brittany asks. “But you told me you
were in love with me.”

“I honestly don’t know what I was thinking,”
Santana says, looking away. “Look, can you stop staring at me? I can’t
remember my locker combo.”

This is all kinds of deep and yes, satisfying to me. Because
while I’d love to see Brittana ride off into the sunset at Glee‘s end, all I ever really wanted was to see real emotional
honesty in the treatment of these two, and, well… like I said before: Ouch. And
take way my lesbian card if you must, but I’m okay with where Brittany and
Santana are right now.

Right at this moment of peak emotional intensity we get Sue strolling up. “Well,
well,” she says. “If it isn’t Tweedle-dum and Tweedle-fake
boobs.” She castigates them for deserting her and sparking her downfall as
a cheerleading coach.

Then when Brittany and Santana open their lockers, dirt
spews out all over them. “I don’t even remember putting that in
there,” Brittany

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