“Glee” Episode 214 recap: Bye, Bi Blaine

Oh, Burt, even when you’re getting it wrong, you’re still the best television dad ever. I heart you madly.

Burt says he just wants Kurt to apologize for being inappropriate, and promise to never do it again.

“Okay, fine,” Kurt says, seeming a little more upset than his bravado lets on. “I apologize. And I promise not to have any  more sleepovers with anyone who might be gay without asking you first.”

“Thank you,” Burt says.

Kurt walks to the door, then turns around and says, “But maybe you could step outside your comfort zone and educate yourself, so if I have any questions I could go to my dad like any straight son could.”

I didn’t see that coming, not at all. Awesome. And you know Burt’s going to do it. Which is going to be completely embarrassing for us all, but so full of love. What a great dad.

Back at McKinley, New Directions is backstage waiting to do their “Alcohol Awareness Week” number. Brittany has stage fright. “Ke$ha’s been a cultural icon for weeks,” she says, “and I really want to do her music justice.”

Rachel offers up some disgusting alcoholic concoction including everything left in her dads’ liquor cabinet, plus kool-aid and some crumbled up Oreos. And cough syrup. They drink: “To Ke$ha!”

They do “Tick Tock,” with Brittany front and center. It’s auto-tuned to death, but damn, Heather Morris can dance. She’s just incredible. And I hate this stupid song. Or I used to.

A minute into the song, Brittany hisses to Rachel that she doesn’t feel well, and Rachel tells her to “power through it,” which she does, dropping into a split when she sings, “The party don’t start ’til I walk in.”

The power only lasts so long, though, because she heaves purple vomit all over Rachel. And then Santana pukes all over the edge of the stage.

Brittany stands there, vomit everywhere, and tells the audience, “Everybody, drink responsibly.”

Back to gratuitous Sue, who plays Will’s “drunk dial” message to Emma, which he seems to have left on Sue’s voice mail by mistake, over the school PA system.

She keeps going on about Will’s “alcoholism,” when he’s clearly not being portrayed as an alcoholic – he just got drunk one night. And it struck me that maybe there’s supposed to be some kind of parallel there with Blaine wondering if he’s bisexual? I don’t know, I’m giving them too much credit, aren’t I?

The whole Glee Club gets brought into Mr. Figgins’ office, and we learn that he believed they were acting when they sang “Tick Tock,” and that the vomit was a special effect. He also thinks William needs “to see someone about your sex and love addiction.”

But when they get back to the choir room, Will yells at them about drinking while performing or at school.

“That’s sort of like the pot calling the kettle black,” Quinn points out.

“That is so racist,” Brittany says to Mercedes.

Will agrees, and says he’s going to stop drinking. “But if you don’t drink,” says Santana, “What will you have to live for?”

He says he has plenty to live for, and has all the kids sign a pledge to not drink until Nationals, and says he won’t, either. He also gives them his number and says if they’re every anywhere and too drunk to get home, they can call him, no questions asked. /PSA

Rachel and Kurt are staking out the coffeehouse, waiting for Blaine, who always shows up at 3:30 like clockwork for his “post-rehearsal meeting drip.” (Why isn’t Kurt at the rehearsal?)

Kurt says he doesn’t want Rachel to get hurt, and that there’s no victory in this for him either way.

She says it’s not about him; she might get a boyfriend out of this who could keep up with her vocally and in the future “give me vaguely Eurasian looking children.”

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