“Glee” Episode 213 Recap: Oh, Say Can You Bieb?

 
 

Back at her desk, Sue tells her journal she’s regained her
will to live by deciding to turn the Glee Clubbers against each other. She
starts with Mercedes and Rachel, who she manipulates into challenging each
other to a diva-off.

“There’s only one ‘i’ in ‘diva,’ Rachel, and that ‘i’
is me,” Mercedes says.

When the Glee Club kids are in the choir room later, Finn
tries to get Quinn to go out with him on Friday night, but she says she hasn’t
made up her mind yet. (He suggested bumper cars, which I personally think is a
much better choice than paint your own pottery. But maybe that’s just me.)

Then all the guys come in with their hoodies and Bieber hair
– even Puck, who looks totally ridiculous. Artie, however much I want Brittany to dump his
sorry ass, looks really cute with the Bieber bangs and an orange hoody.

Then they sing “Somebody to Love,” with some nice
production features like throwing flour all over themselves while the
spotlights are on them. Having, you know, miraculously been transported to the
auditorium. And the girls, including Lauren Zizes, are gathered at the lip of
the stage squealing, while Finn sits in the back shaking his head in disgust.

Puck walks up to Lauren and asks what she thought. She
confesses that “although my love would crush him, I’m totally turned on by
the Biebster. That is, until I remember he looks like he’s twelve, when it’s sort of creepy.”

“Listen, Zizes,” Puck pleads. “What do I have
to do to get with you?”

She says she has an idea, and she’ll let him know.

Quinn tells Finn she’s not going out with him on Friday, and
then she tells Sam she can’t wait to paint some pottery with him. But just as
she walks off, Santana strolls up and tells him that, despite what he thinks,
things aren’t going well between him and Quinn, and that the two of them should
“talk.”

Finn can’t believe Quinn’s choosing Sam over him, and all
because of The Justin Bieber Experience. I was kind of rooting for Finn and
Quinn for two minutes a while ago, but now I’m really over them. Am I the only
one who doesn’t think cheating on people is sexy or funny? It’s not that Quinn
should have to choose, but honesty is always nice.

Puck goes to Lauren’s wrestling practice, and it turns him
on. She tells him to shut up, because she asked him there to talk business. She
needs his help and advice for her solo number for New Directions. She knows
she’s hot, she says, but she wants to be as good as Berry.

Puck says he gets nervous before he sings, but he just
pictures the audience in their underwear. “It works every time. Can I
touch your knockers now?”

“Only if you want to lose a hand,” Lauren says,
standing up. “But you’re on your way.”

Our Puck is a happy man.

Rachel and Brittany are walking into the choir room, and
Rachel says that Brittany, who is dressed just like her in a sweater, blouse
with a bow, and little skirt, looks amazing.

“I really do,” Brittany says.

Rachel asks if there’s any way she can cut classes for the
rest of the afternoon and just walk around the halls in her new look.

“Totally,” Brittany
tells her. “Most of my teachers think by cutting class I might improve my
grades.”

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