“Glee” Episode 212 Recap: Stalker at the Gap

 
 

Finn tells her he knew she wasn’t over him, and she says, “Okay,
fine, I still love you. Is that what you want to hear? Why can’t you just
forgive me?”

“You cheated on me.”

“What does that mean, that I was stupid, that I was
angry? I don’t care about Puck. I don’t care about anybody but you.”

In somewhat of a non sequitur, he gives her the wrapped
Christmas present he never gave her because they broke up. It’s a gold star
necklace.

Finn puts it on her, and says he thinks she’s right about
wanting to be alone for a while. “You’re better than anyone else at the
school. You’re a star. You need to shine. Just because I can’t be with you,
doesn’t mean I don’t believe in you.”

That was kind of nice, even if I don’t quite understand
where it came from.

You know how in the last episode I felt like they just
dropped the “Bills Bills Bills” number in out of nowhere? That’s how
I feel about the next song (wait; is this the first song of the episode? Is
that possible?), Mike and Artie
singing Michael Jackson’s “PYT (Pretty Young Thing).”

Not even Mike’s
dancing can save it, especially when they run into Brittany and Tina in the
hall, and the girls gaze on adoringly and skip after the guys, when it morphs
into their “love song” performance in the choir room. Yes, Brittany’s suspenders
are adorable in this scene, but not adorable enough to make up for the way
Artie’s hair has been Bieberized. It’s bad enough on Sam. On Artie it’s
downright scary.

At the end of the song, Brittany sits in Artie’s lap and Mike and
Tina kiss.

Refreshingly, Santana tries to get Puck back by telling him
he can reimburse her for the necklace she bought herself, and take her to
Breadstix for Valentine’s Day. She says she gets that he thinks she’s a bitch,
but she can change. For instance, she’s not going to tell Lauren to be careful
of poachers who might mistake her for the endangered white rhino.

At which point Lauren, who had just come up behind her,
says, “I heard that. Don’t make me rip that weave out your head.”

Puck: “This is not going to be good.”

“Hello, Lauren,” the New Santana says. “You are
a beautiful person. Now get out of my way before I end you.”

That’s my girl.

Santana says she’s from a part of town called Lima Heights
adjacent, i.e., the wrong side of the tracks. Then they get into a massive bitch
fight – in slow motion, which is awesome – and Santana is utterly defeated. Coach
Beiste actually has to pick her up off the floor.

As the coach carries her off, Santana screams, hair flying, “That’s
how we do it in Lima
Heights!”

Coach Beiste says, “Let me get you to the nurse.”

Last week I fell in love with Lauren and Coach Beiste, and now
what might have normally killed me – Santana in defeat, over Puck yet! – kind of gave me a thrill. Oh, Glee, what are you doing to me?

“Oh god,” Puck says to Lauren. “Please go out
with me. Please.”

Lauren takes her glasses back from him. “You make a
formal presentation, and I’ll consider it.” She saunters off triumphantly.

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