But our Kurt is not crushed. He does not fall apart. He
doesn’t take it personally and he doesn’t blame himself. No, he gets in his jammies
and has a sleepover with his fellow divas Rachel and Mercedes. They eat pizza and
do each other’s hair, and the girls quiz him about what happened.
They ask if Blaine
ever said they were dating, or put the moves on him. Kurt says said no, but
that they were “always singing duets and he was always smiling at me… Oh
god. I made up the whole thing up in my head, didn’t I?” (Note: No, Kurt,
actually you didn’t.)
Yes, Kurt seems kind of upset, but in what I’d call an
appropriate and kind of adorable way. (And yeah, if you don’t like Kurt, most
likely you hate my recaps. Sorry about that.)
Then the three of them resolve to be strong, single, independent
divas like their idols Whitney, Barbra, and Miss Patti Lupone.
“They all become stars while they were single,”
Mercedes says. “They took all the pain and loneliness and put it into their
music. People could relate to it. Everybody feels lonely. Harnessing this pain
is why they became legends.”
Rachel is awestruck. “Why has this never occurred to
Mercedes wisely says they all need to fly solo for a while,
and Kurt says, “It’s so nice to be around girls for a change,” and we
have a cute group hug.
Back in the choir room, Puck and the glee guys sing Queen’s
“Fat Bottomed Girls.” To Lauren. While Santana has a complete
breakdown and everyone else seems kind of confused. At one point, Lauren takes
off her glasses.
I actually like this song, and the guys do a great job with it.
But that’s not to say I don’t see all kinds of problems with the message in
this song as well. And Lauren? She does not look happy. Well, for a second she does.
Or is she shocked?
Then Brittany and Mike are dancing, which makes most things much
more enjoyable. But at the end, Santana comes down and gives the evil eye sign
to Puck and then Lauren, and leaves the room.
Puck goes over to Lauren and asks what she thought. He says
he knows she’s “on the heavier side,” but says he’s kind of into it.
Lauren somehow manages to resist his almost immeasurable
charm. “That was the first time anyone ever sang me a love song, and it
made me feel like crap.”
And I, in my infinite shallowness, notice that she has
awesomely beautiful eyes. (Should I say something about Puck’s arms now, to
make sure I have gay boy parity in this recap? Consider it said.)
Meanwhile, back at Finn’s kissing booth… Becky shows up with
her dollar, and he kisses her cheek. There’s a long line, but he tells the
girls he has to take an oral hygiene break. That’s when Quinn shows up and says
she knows he’s just doing this to get her to kiss him (true), and he says it’s
too bad she’s too uptight to spend a buck for a cause like the Glee Club.
“What are you so afraid of?” he asks her, very
much like a sick manipulative creep.
She, however, has a good answer: “Leading you on.
Hurting my boyfriend.”
Finn continues with his creepy guy thing, getting right in
her face and saying, “Tell me you don’t want to kiss me right now.”
She looks like she’s about to cry, says, “I can’t do
this,” and leaves. What an asshole you are, Finn.
Turns out Sam saw, and he confronts her in the library. He
says that it’s odd she hasn’t kissed Finn at his booth – must be because she
likes being the queen bee, and being with Finn will put her up there. What an
asshole you are, Sam.
However, for reasons I can’t comprehend right now, the girls
keep flocking to the kissing booth. Even Rachel, who tells Finn she’s over him
and realized she’s better off without anyone. He kisses her cheek, and she
explodes that a peck on the cheek isn’t worth a dollar.