Back at McKinley, Emma breaks it to Will that she and Carl eloped to Vegas while he was at Sectionals. He looks like someone killed his puppy.
Rachel confesses to Finn that she’d almost slept with Puck after she found out about Santana, and they break up.
“You said you’d never break up with me!” she tells him.
“I never thought you’d make me feel like this,” he says. After what happened with Puck and Quinn, that one really hurt.
He also pointed out that he and Rachel weren’t dating when he slept with Santana, but he and Rachel were dating when she almost slept with Puck – but I don’t think that’s really the problem here. Was it that he slept with Santana that upset Rachel, or that he let her think he was still a virgin, even after she’d admitted she hadn’t really slept with Jesse last year?
Back at Dalton Academy, Kurt’s freaking out because his canary – “your voice” they called it, remember? – isn’t doing well and has stopped singing. And in case we didn’t get the thematic anvils dropped on us earlier, Blaine assures him that he’s just molting. “He’s growing a new coat of feathers, so his body has to shut down a little. He’s got food, water, seems to like his cage. Just give it a little while. He’ll be singing again in no time.”
Tina’s abandoned her Goth cheerleader garb, and she and Mike make up with an “Asian kiss.”
Santana expresses her sympathy to Mr. Schue that Miss Pillsbury married “the finest dentist alive.” He says they don’t need to talk about it, and starts talking about how they’ve faced some challenges, but now they need to celebrate. He offers Rachel a solo, but she says she doesn’t feel like celebrating, and passes the opportunity to this week’s “unsung heroes,” Mercedes and Tina.
They do a kick-ass, Glee’d-out rendition of Florence + the Machine’s “Dog Days Are Over,” and would you think less of me if I admitted that when Santana started wheeling Artie around on stage I hoped, just for a second, she’d push him off?
During the song, we also see intercut scenes of Rachel de-Finnizing her locker and Kurt staring, then smiling, at his bird in a gilded cage.
Next week: Christmas!