Sue has her two confetti cannons back, and she blows them
off and laughs maniacally as she tells Will that Coach Beiste quit. "And
it was your kids who made it happen, Will. It finally occurred to them to stop
singing all that nonsense about how awesome it is to be alive or ugly or
whatever the point is you guys are always trying to make. And instead, they
just got mean. Congratulations, Will."
Will’s shocked. "What, Coach Beiste quit?"
"I believe I just said that, Annie Sullivan. You want
me to sign it into your palm?" she replies.
Will, of course, looks deeply troubled. And then Kurt’s
walking down the hall, mooning over his "courage" text from Blaine, when goon sends
him and his iPhone flying into the lockers. Again.
This time Kurt’s had enough, and flies after Dave into the
locker room. Dave’s all, get out of here and stay way from my junk.
Kurt is furious and full of scorn. "Guess what, ham
hock," he says. "You’re not my type."
"That right?" chokes Ham Hock.
"I don’t dig on chubby guys who sweat too much and are
going to be bald by the time they’re thirty."
This of course inspires Dave to rev up the fury, but Kurt
just keeps sneering at him. "You can’t punch the gay out of me any more
than I can punch the ignoramus out of you. You are nothing but a scared little
boy who can’t handle how extraordinarily ordinary you are."
And then Dave looks like he’s going to explode or cry, and
he grabs Kurt and kisses him. Hard.
And then he breaks away, and
flees, and Kurt stands there with his hand pressed to his mouth with so
many emotions on his face it made me want to smash the TV screen and get him a
puppy and a car and really, anything at all he wanted.
Will someone get Chris Colfer an Emmy like, yesterday? He
can take the most over the top, clichéd scene and make it feel real and
Will gathers the Glee Club kids and tells them they drove
Coach Beiste out, and how disappointed and upset he is at them. She’s a person,
he says, with feelings. Rachel is confused and asks what she did, and Finn
says, no, it was them. The boys.
"And Tina," says Mike.
Santana says the whole mess is because Quinn and Rachel
won’t put out: "If everyone just put out, we’d have a winning football
comes in then, asking Will to come to the office. It turns out Puck’s probation
officer is not happy that Puck’s "community service" is helping Artie
get a date, and she threatens to get him sent back to juvie.
Puck complete melts down, and for the first time in the
episode, I get the point of his arc. "Since when does any one of you care
about helping me?" he yells as he slams his probation officer’s notebook
to the floor.
I saw the parallel with Kurt’s situation, although it’s
pretty hard to wrap my brain around Puck – big, strong, popular Puck, who
throws Kurt and Artie into dumpsters on a regular basis – as a kid in need of
help. But maybe that’s on me.