We cut now to a
news broadcast already in progress. The anchors are finishing up a story
about the first Unitarian monkey wedding ceremony in six years, and they have a
picture of the happy bride and groom to prove it. Somewhere Maggie Gallagher is having a serious
crisis over this story. On the one hand, she certainly approves that it’s a
male and female monkey getting married. On the other, could the fact they got
married indicate they’ve evolved?
The news item is a lead-in to Sue’s Corner. If I’m not mistaken, this is the first Sue’s Corner
of the season, and it’s a doozie. Her subject is Halloween, “The day when
parents encourage little boys to dress like little girls, and little girls to
dress like whores.” Hey, what about the boys who want to dress like whores?
Let’s not forget us.
Sue says that Halloween is now all about people going
door-to-door freeloading candy off of hard-working Americans, and we’ve lost
the true meaning of the holiday … fear.
broadcast, Sue is approached by two men-in-black who announce they’re the
new station managers. Awesomely, they’re played by original-Brad, Barry Bostwick, and original-Eddie, Meatloaf (who apparently has a last
name – who knew?). But it’s a crying shame that we get these great cameos from
these guys and they don’t get to sing. It’s like when Barbra Streisand cast Mandy
Patinkin in Yentl and then hogged
all the songs for herself.
Anyway, the station guys explain to Sue that the key to great
cable news coverage is fear. You throw in a “killer bees” or “terrorists” or
“Mexicans,” and you create a flurry of panicked news coverage and get yourself
ratings. This, BTW, is so like what really goes on with today’s news that it
threatens to veer this entire episode into docudrama.
They think there’s just such a story brewing at Sue’s
school, because they’ve heard of the pending Rocky Horror production. It’s the perfect topic by which to drum up
fear-mongering news stories about the “secular progressive agenda” invading the
public schools, and they want her help. Seeing a daytime Emmy in her future,
Sue agrees to go undercover and report on the production from the inside.
Back at the
school, Will is starting rehearsal, and the girls are teasing Finn about having
to take his shirt off for the scene. When Rachel says this isn’t fair, Quinn
points out that girls have to put up with being objectified all the time, what
with all the comments about their looks from the boys. Not to mention certain “naughty
schoolgirl” spreads in certain men’s magazines catering to thirtysomething
stock brokers. Just saying.
As evidence of Quinn’s view, Santana mentions how
earlier, Artie asked if he could have an omelet with the ostrich eggs she’s
smuggling in her bra. I’m surprised she didn’t pummel him over that, but then
again, she was probably flattered. Sam,
meanwhile, promises everyone he’s going to be “abulous” in his gold bikini.
They rehearse “Damn It Janet,” and it’s a bit better than
was, but still nothing transcendent.
Sue interrupts the
song and pulls Will outside. To his surprise, she’s not threatening to shut
down the show; quite the opposite, she wants to participate, claiming to be a
big supporter of the arts. He’s suspicious (as he should be) but agrees to let
her be The Criminologist. Which is perfect casting. Naturally, though, she
insists on making her own rewrites.