What’s that sound? Oh, just the collective Brittana fandom screaming for the head of Glee creator Ryan Murphy. News broke earlier this week that not only was Murphy continuing with the Brittany and Artie storyline, he now plans to put Santana and Sam together. First Bartie and now Samtana? Oh, hell no.
Murphy told Entertainment Weekly that he was breaking up the show’s resident blonde-on-blonde couple Sam and Quinn. Why? “I got bored. They were too perfect.” He got bored? Not because it makes a good story or it makes sense for the characters or it makes the show better, but because he was bored? Good God, I hope he never gets hungry or the show could become a musical version of Lord of the Flies with people calling for the Gleeks to slit the weakest singer’s throat.
So then what was Murphy’s rationale for putting Sam and Santana together? “He needs a little salsa spice.” Oh, yes, by all means please use the “spicy” stereotype when it comes to the show’s one Latina cast member. Look, I know Glee is allergic to logical character continuity and has turned into a merry-go-round of dating match-ups lately, but this is sheer madness and so maddening. It’s also tiring, disheartening and beyond disappointing for fans of Brittany and Santana who had hoped against hope for a reconciliation filled with sweet lady kisses anytime soon.
To make matters even worse, it would appear that Glee is setting up what could have been the perfect reconciliation moment for our two favorite Queerios. TV Fanatic reports that Glee will perform the big lesbian duet from the Broadway musical Rent in an upcoming episode. But instead of Brittany and Santana belting out “Take Me or Leave Me,” it will be turned into a “diva-off” between Lea Michele and Amber Riley. What the what?
You may recall in the movie version it’s the big break-up number Idina Menzel’s Maureen sings to her jealous girlfriend Joanne (Tracie Thoms). I mean, the song goes, “You are the one I choose, folks would kill to fill your shoes” and “‘Cause every night, who’s in your bed.” How does that even work between Rachel and Mercedes? Is Ryan creating Merchel? This song is custom made for Santana to sing to Brittany. Just think of Santana belting out, “Ever since puberty, everybody stares at me. Boys, girl, I can’t help it baby.” I mean, come on, there will always be women in rubber flirting with her.
Oh, Glee. Oh, Ryan Murphy. What are you doing to us? We ask for so little. A flirt here, a dance there, just not the totally negation of every shred of the relationship you previously built up between Brittany and Santana. In fact these developments are, by its creator’s own standards, the worse sin possible: Boring.
UPDATE: Glee co-creator Glee co-creator Brad Falchuk tweeted this evening that “Brittana is on. Brittana was always on.” We’ll post a full update later tonight.