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Efva Attling designs “Love is in the Air”

AfterEllen.com recently had the opportunity to sit down with Efva Attling, Stockholm’s renowned out jewelry designer, to talk all things glitz, glamour, and, of course, gay. Efva’s life has been filled with accomplishments as a model, musician, clothing designer, TV personality, and now, as a reclaimed jewelry designer with clientele of the rich and famous: Madonna, members of the Swedish Royal Family and Kylie Minoguee among the many.

At the top of Efva’s new client list are the three lucky couples who won Scandinavian Airlines (SAS) and VisitSweden’s “Love is in the Air” contest to be wed in the air while en route from Stockholm to NYC (or vice versa) and then whooshed off to fabulous honeymoon destinations like the Ice Hotel and New York City. Efva has been in a same-sex marriage with Swedish pop sensation, Eva Dahlgren, for over 17 years and is known for a signature “humanistic” approach to her design aesthetic – making her the perfect person for the job of creating the couples’ wedding rings.

The tall, striking blond was confident and luminous with an obvious “no holds barred” point of view. So what’s Efva’s next big venture? If she has her way it’ll be appearing as a guest on The Ellen DeGeneres Show.

AfterEllen.com: So how did you get involved with this “Love in the Air” event?

Efva Attling: It was something I came across on the internet. Someone sent me a link, saying “Look at this, this is great.”  I read about it and thought “Wow, I should really be involved.” And then I received a call from SAS asking if I’d make the rings for them. So that was it, really – Two minds, one goal.

AE: What about the “Love is in the Air” project appealed to you?

EA: Well, it’s another way of thinking from SAS. I think it’s a fun idea, it’s about creativity, and I think it’s a great thing. It’s good for the Americans to just like, “Come on, get loose, get married, come on!” You know, that’s why I do [my piece called] “Homo Sapiens,” dividing the words “Homo”‘ and “Sapiens.” It’s a statement. And that’s what I think SAS has done with “Love is in the Air.” I think it’s fantastic. It’s a fun idea but, you know, it also means something. All these small actions can really make something big happen.

SAS could’ve asked any jewelry designer to participate. Why do you think they chose you?

EA: I think because I’m one of Scandinavia’s more successful jewelry designers and also, I’m married to another woman. Another Eva actually – Efva and Eva. We’re “double trouble!” [Laughs] I made our rings, you know, even though jewelry designers aren’t supposed to design their own wedding rings … We’ve been married for 17 years.

AE: Creating someone’s wedding ring is a pretty big deal. Did you design anything special for the three lucky couples? How did you decide what to make for each one?

EA: Well I offered some options to them, I said, “This is what I think we should have,” and then they could choose whatever design they wanted. But it was really funny, you know, I thought “Okay, these are the rings for the guys and these are for the girls,” and, it was totally opposite! The girls chose, “From Here To Eternity,” and the “Soft Ring” was chosen by the Americans – it’s a bit more of a classical design – and the Germans picked “From Here To Eternity” written in script type.

AE: How does Stockholm or Sweden play a role in your work?

EA: I think my jewelry is very Swedish in a way, because it’s very low-key. It’s very simple but it has different movements that make it calm. I’m not calm [Laughs], but also, when I put words into my pieces I can send out the message and then those who receive it can pass on that message and think “Wow, what does this mean?”

For example, I have a ring called “Amor Fati” which means “the love for our destiny.” For me, that means that you have this life, and it’s up to you to make the best of it. It’s not about fulfilling someone else’s wishes, like, “I want you to be a teacher,” and you’re like “But I don’t want to be a teacher, I want to be a bus driver!” So, OK! Be the bus driver! It’s you behind the wheel. For me, “Love for our destiny” is like, “You choose your own life.”

AE: Do you think it’s better to be openly gay in Sweden than it is in the U.S.?

EA: I would say it like this: [my wife] Eva and I were both very famous when we met, which was a hassle because of the paparazzi. But you know, they cooled down. [Coming out] was a bit easier of course , because although Eva was never out, people love her for her music. And when we got married, they couldn’t just put her music away-it  was already in their hearts. For me, I don’t know, maybe my work was in someone somewhere’s hearts. [Laughs] Maybe my son’s!

No, but I think it’s easier for a well-known person – and also for the kids of the family – in the coming-out process because we make examples of ourselves during it and make it easier for everyday people as role models. But people who aren’t famous just have to endure it on their own accord. This is why I like Ellen DeGeneres. She’s fantastic, she has a fantastic brain, how can you not like her? Of course there are going to be different people in different states here that dislike her, they can’t even take it in … That she’s fantastic, because they have such a scared-ness of seeing things for what they really are.

AE: Sweden seems to be culturally a bit more open, and the people more liberal. Do you think that is an accurate insight?

EA: We’re a smaller country, I think maybe that could be part of it. I mean we have segregation. We have a right-wing in government at the moment and that’s also why I feel my “Homo Sapiens” line is so crucial. I re-released it because it was more important than ever to solidify the belief that we’re all humans. This world can be racist and homophobic – those two are interrelated – but I think that this is such a double-moral country. It all comes back to religion stopping the modern way of thinking.

AE: How does designing jewelry compare to your past artistic ventures as a model, musician and clothing designer?

EA: I think they all connect. When you’re a model, you try to express ideas by creating different movements, making expressions without saying anything and that’s a way of creative thinking. Then as a singer/songwriter you can really go all the way. You can play the music and write the lyrics of all the things you experience, mostly about love of course. Then you meet people after a show who tell you, “That’s how I feel, but I can’t express myself.”

So I mean that is the goal for an artist – to touch someone, to have this connection. But still, it’s people. Connecting people. And it’s not only luck that’s connecting you, it’s humor. And that’s a big thing, at least for me it is. Being a TV personality, fashion journalist … You know I’ve been doing a lot of things like that and I’ve been doing them because of lust, like “Oh, I really want to do that!” But you know, I’d love to be on Ellen DeGeneres’ show, but I’m not sure she’d have me … I’d just love to get on there!

Many years ago a friend called me and said he was hanging out with Ellen and asked me to send some “Homo Sapiens” pieces, so I did. And at that time her mother was the spokesperson for the Human Rights Campaign, so I sent some for her as well but never heard back if they received the pieces or liked them. But maybe now she will see “Homo Sapiens” somewhere and think “Oh wow, I got that years ago.”

AE: What would you say are your main inspirations?

EA: People. Definitely. To meet new people, to exchange ideas. You know, people watching on the subway, or something, where you see someone and you think “What was she thinking when she wore that?” And you think for a second and you realize she thought she was beautiful. And that’s something we all could learn. We can’t judge anyone, we’re not perfect. That gives me inspiration to change things and to … “Carpe Diem!” You know, “Seize the day.”

It’s very hard for people today because we’re so connected – here, there, everywhere, that you just forget to do these things and then when you finally do you’re like “Ah! This is nice.” Like in my documentary, so many things were happening and we wanted to film every last bit of it…the whole process. I was in an accident, on vacation, things were going on and she [Eva] filmed all of it. And it’s like “S–t. I could have just died!” And the thing is, before the accident I was calling my jewelry “Memento Vito” which means “Remember to live,” so it was really like, all these things were telling me “‘Yeah, yeah – you have to live.”

AE: You just complete the project with SAS. Do you like to fly?

EA: I love to fly! And I love SAS, of course. A funny thing, when my son was 11, the stewardess came up to me and asked me for my autograph and my son said “Mama! You’re like a jewelry idol!” And I had never heard that expression before – it was nice. And I do sell my jewelry on board in the flight shop and a lot of the air stewardesses have my jewelry. And I always get free champagne! [Laughs]

When you travel do you have any favorite “lesbian destinations?”

EA: I’m at home a lot. I don’t really hang out with lesbians as a group, you know, I’ve been married to Eva for 17 years so I don’t really pay attention I must say, about traveling… Eva and I were at a resort in the Caribbean and there was this one woman there – a guest – who was talking to everybody, I mean everybody, except for us. And this happens quite often, actually. We [Eva and I] were at a fancy resort party but the only thing this woman says to us is “Um, hello” or “Eh, good night” even though the whole time she was talking to straight women, gay men, everyone but us. You know, I have to wonder what it is that I send out? It’s like, when they see two women – they don’t know who we are, they don’t know in which case to put us in? So, we get left alone a lot. It’s really strange, but actually it’s often quite nice! 

AE: What was your wedding like?

EA: First, we had our partnership in 1996. And then we were married in Las Vegas. I lured Eva into it. I said we were going to a bar when really, I had bigger plans. I had met an Ethiopian lesbian, cab driver – probably the only one in Vegas-and I got her! I asked her to take me to a same-sex wedding parlor. She was so excited, and told me, “You know, I escaped from Ethiopia because I like women – you should marry me!” She was so funny. Then we get to the wedding parlor and see that we could book Elvis to marry us, and I think “Yeah… We should book Elvis.” So I did, then I went back to the hotel, told Eva to change clothes. She said “I thought we were going to a bar?” and I replied “a fancy bar.”

Anyway, I took her downstairs along with the CEO of the company that I make eyewear for, and he kept asking “Are you sure we can do this?” [laughs] The cab driver meets us, and she could hardly hold in her excitement and she drives us and stops the car and I look at Eva and I tell her “We’re gonna get married here!” Then I asked our cab driver to go get a bottle of whiskey and I told her “You can be with us you can join us to celebrate today.” And it was probably one of the best evenings for her too, you know, to be at the wedding of two women after coming from this really unaccepting country. I think that was important to her.

AE: So you were married to two men before Eva. Did you marry those men and later realize you had feelings for another woman?

EA: The funny thing is I’ve known Eva since 1980. It’s so strange, when you know a person for so long it was like, maybe I was just rehearsing all that time? Also, at the time I knew her, I didn’t think of her as some sort of sex object. But then suddenly I did! Best sex I could ever have!

So, you were friends with Eva, when you were married to you two ex-husbands?

EA: Yeah. Well, not the first ex-husband but the last. We all used to hang out with her and her girlfriend all the time together. Then after we married, all my girlfriends who were just friends looked around and thought “Wow, maybe I’m going to fall in love with my friends, too!” When you know someone for so long, and suddenly it’s like, “Whoa, I’m ready … I think I’m in love.” It’s fantastic. And, yes, life is fantastic.

AE: And finally: What’s your one piece of advice to the newlyweds from the SAS flights?

EA: Oh wow. Well, I know this for sure because I’ve been married in three ceremonies to Eva and then twice before to men – it’s like I’m I’m really coming up to Elizabeth Taylor in numbers! Anyway, I say: Respect, a lot of humor, and forgive and forget. And most of all, remember that love conquers all, I’m sure of that.

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