Goonies: The Musical — Let’s all do the truffle shuffle

by Dorothy Snarker

I can’t decide if this idea is crazy good or just crazy crazy. The hit 1985 movie The Goonies might become a Broadway musical. Original writer-director team Richard Donner and Steven Spielberg are “fairly passionate” about developing an all-singing, all-dancing remake of the kiddie classic.

The movie followed a band of misfit kids as they went on an awfully big adventure to save their beloved Goon Docks. Along the way, they came across a lost map, secret caves, hidden treasure and a deformed giant named Sloth with a thing for Baby Ruth candy bars. It starred a host of now-famous (uh, does The Surreal Life still count as famous?) faces including Sean Astin, Corey Feldman, Josh Brolin, Martha Plimpton and Kerri Green.

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Oh, that Kerri Green.

In the mid-80s, no one played the cute, sensitive cheerleader next door better than Kerri — first in The Goonies and then the next year in Lucas (which also starred some unknown actress named Winona Ryder in her film debut). And then, poof. Kerri was gone like a pom pom in the wind. Perhaps she’s somewhere playing poker and swapping bad ’80s hair stories with Molly Ringwald, Phoebe Cates and Mia Sara.

(Writer’s Note: If you’re too young to remember The Goonies, you’ve just made my head hurt, my knees ache and my back crack. Now fetch me my walker, I’m late for bingo.)

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