Afternoon Delight: It’s a good night for lesbian TV viewers, a bad time to go to jail if you’re Lindsay Lohan


Tonight is the night USA Network finally ends its strict bros before hos policy, and you can be a part of the magic! First up, White Collar is back with its second season, and this time lesbian FBI agent Diana Lancing (Marsha Thomason) has a legitimately awesome role. In fact, I think it’s fair to say the crux of the entire series rests in her hands this season. (I watched the first two episodes yesterday, just so I could tease you.)

And right after that, Piper Perabo‘s Covert Affairs premieres, and her Agent Annie Walker is the most precious badass you’ve seen in a long, long time. Come for Thomason, stay for Perabo. (And don’t forget Pretty Little Liars on ABC Family before any of that; I hear somebody is taking another somebody to homecoming.)

So remember last week when Dorothy Snarker wrote about Machete and noted that Lindsay Lohan‘s teaser poster for the film hadn’t made an appearance yet? Well, now it has.

In the words of Meg Ryan from Joe Versus the Volcano: “I have no response to that.”

Actually, yes I do. Maybe Lohan better hold onto that gun because Fox New is reporting — hang on, I want to get this quote exactly right — “Lesbian Prison Gangs Waiting to Get Hands on Lindsay Lohan, Report Says.” (Just don’t read that article unless you have to, and if you do have to, close your browser window before you get to the last sentence.)

My favorite Second City Network character is “Sassy Gay Friend,” and their most recent sketch is the funniest video I’ve watched in weeks. Maybe it’s because I loathe Shel Silverstein‘s The Giving Tree and adore To Kill a Mockingbird. Or maybe it’s because it’s perfect.

Did you hear that Glee has a second season premiere date? On September 20th — a mere ten weeks away — Sue and Rachel and Quinn and Brittany and Santana will be back on your TV in all their bee-bopping glory. Can Ryan Murphy hold it together for two whole seasons? Cross your fingers and don’t watch Nip/Tuck.

AfterEllen reader LilyJadeRose let us know that openly gay hip-hop artists ShortyRoc and Kin4Life are featured on the PBS show In The Life. The show seeks to eradicate homophobia by shining a positive, honest light on members of the LGBT community. You can watch the full episode below.

One more note on awesome TV before I go, one week from today, on July 20th, Strangers with Candy debuts on Logo, and if you haven’t seen it, do yourself a favor and set your DVR. It’s too funny for words.

We’re relaunching tomorrow and it is going to be awesome. Here’s the official word: 

In order to facilitate our relaunch tomorrow, will have a blackout period on Wednesday, July 14, from 9 am EDT to 1 pm EDT. We’ll be up and running and fully functional by 1 pm EDT, and appreciate your patience as we unveil our new look!

Today’s Afternoon Delight is brought to you by Piper Perabo. I literally have no idea what’s going on in this photo, but I have the weirdest thing for fairies and elves (overshare!), so just use your imagination.

Something you want to add to Afternoon Delight? A hot chick of the day you want to see? Tweet me! @hhoagie

More you may like