I’ve been going through one of those times where I’m feeling the need to purge the parts of my wardrobe that are dead to me. I need to make room for the new and inevitably glorious outfits that I know are just waiting for me to find them, embrace them and make them feel welcome, right next to the tried and true. This time, it’s the ever-taxing process of finding the perfect pair of jeans.
Yes, denim is always my woe, simply for the reason that most brands are truly not ready for this jelly and my, um, voluptuous backside and thighs are always ruining the life of my significantly smaller waist. Moral of the story is, if it fits over my hips, it will likely be much too large around the middle. I nearly lost it at Nordstrom Rack a couple of weeks ago when I tried on about 10 pairs and not even one worked out.
You can imagine how thrilled I was when my boss here at AfterEllen.com passed on an offer for me to receive and review a new kind of denim called MiracleBody jeans.
Now ladies, I’m as skeptical as you when something has the word “miracle” in the title (it can have that sort of unfortunate infomercial connotation associated with it) but they came and I gave them the ultimate test — wearing them to work for 8 hours as an assistant hairdresser. I’ve got to bend, snap and shampoo all the live-long day, so if they were going to fail me, that would be the time.
These jeans promise to make you look “10 pounds lighter in 10 seconds” and they do as promised. I opted for the “Skinny Minnie” prototype and was pleased as punch with the way they hug my hips. They’re also stretchy without getting that wrinkled and bunched-up look that can sometimes happen with the more flexible varieties. So in my mind, they’re a win.
They’re a steep $110 a pop but I seriously think that they’re worth the money if you have similar issues with your middle-to-booty ratio. If you’re fortunate and have a more narrow lower body type, Joe’s Jeans are thebomb.com.
My girlfriend got a pair (awesomely named Ex-Lover) a few weeks ago and is basically as in love with the jeans as she is with me, so that’s saying something. The denim is super high-quality and, with a skilled eye and a patience for rack-combing, you can find a pair for your very own for a mere $80 bones, otherwise they’re around $178. That’s not bad when you’re looking for a pair that will have longevity and are classically cut with a slight fade in all the right places. Give them a couple of wears to get them really fitting you right and I think you’ll agree with my GF. Besides, with all of their washes named after various celebs, artists and designers (including Kylie Minogue), how can you go wrong? I’ll also recommend Levi’s Capital E Ruler as an honorable mention/second option.
Loving the ankle grazer style? My favorite can be found at Urban Outfitters, specifically the BDG cigarette version. They fit like I was poured into them and hit my ankle in exactly the right place.
For the impending warmer spring and summer weather, there’s nothing that looks better with your favorite sneakers or flats (whatever floats your boat) and come in so many colors and washes that they’re about to break my bank account on the real. As if you needed another plus, UO is offering a higher-waisted version of the jean for those of us who are over the whole hip-hugging trend that makes you feel like your panties are on display every time you sit down.
FYI, word on the street is that some flared jeans are popping up on the runways trying to convince us that they’re going to be hot again come fall. I’ll believe it when I see it and I’m crossing like, every finger hoping that it’s just some kind of sick rumor because I’m not sure if I want to wear them again.
Who is rocking your denim dream world?