Lesbian Body Armor: Your Key to a Pain-Free Lesbian TV Watching Experience

If you are a lesbian who watches TV, take a moment to answer the following questions:

Do you ever find yourself hanging on to a show long after it has jumped the shark, just to see your favorite lesbian couple? Do you ever begin watching a show you know is crap, just because it promised a lesbian storyline? Do fictional lesbians and lesbian couples make your heart thump? Do they sometimes make your heart break?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you have come to the right place. I know about being too attached to lesbian TV characters. I got blitzed on tequila in a hotel room by myself one night before a half-marathon because someone texted me some L Word spoilers I didn’t like. By midnight, I was sending out texts of my own: "Momther fker bedde and tinna fkkin L worz spoilf!"

And because I have experienced the grief, I have developed a foolproof system we can use to guard against the pain of watching lesbian stories on TV. First, follow the simple flow chart to see what kind of lesbian body armor you should be wearing. And then jump to the second chart for a full explanation of your gear.

 

 

So? What kind of armor do you need to buy? Maybe you can save up, buy a full set and share with your girlfriend!

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