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L.A. Scene April 2010: “The Big Gay Sketch Show” Season 3 Premiere Party and Dinah Shore Weekend

L.A. Scene is a monthly column that chronicles lesbian nightlife and events of interest in Los Angeles. Sarah Witness, an East Coast transplant and obvious femme, has been navigating the snark infested waters of Hollywood since 2001. Although she’s an NYU trained actress, she prefers sipping vodka and making idle chit-chat at really gay nightclubs.

Dinah Shore Weekend

I’m making a pie right now. I’ve never made one before. I’m trying to trick my girlfriend into marrying me. This is the result of Dinah Shore weekend. It’s a jungle out there ladies.

I wasn’t going to go to Dinah this year because I should really respect my liver once in a while. At the last minute though, I figured, why start now? Several promoters host parties during Dinah Shore Weekend, with Club Skirts and Girl Bar being the big two. Revelers are free to go back and forth, but typically people just buy an all-access pass to one or the other and stay put.

This was my second year at The Dinah and again I chose Club Skirts. This year they stationed themselves at The Hilton Palm Springs Resort. I opted out of staying there because last year I learned that having herds of inebriated women galloping through the halls of your hotel loses its charm around 4 a.m. Best to have an escape plan.

I got in late Friday night and headed over to the Convention Center to attend the infamous White Party. That’s when I saw it. The one thing more glorious than thousands of lesbians clad in that most unflattering color. A casino. Ask someone else how the white party was.

For me, nothing says fun like a windowless room full of elderly people in track suits. Also, the drinks are free. I sent a mass text to the gang at the Convention Center, alerting them to the “real party,” and hunkered down at the nickel slots. In no time Erin Foley, Nicol Paone, Fortune Feimster, and Dara Nai showed up, still decked out in Dinah lanyards. We gambled until 2 a.m., then consumed a truckload of nachos.

I propose Dinah 2011 be housed at the casino. There’s more than one way to lose your shirt in Palm Springs ladies. Who’s in?

On Saturday morning I headed over to the Hilton. I parked at the casino because it was free. Oh, would you look at that? I had to walk through the casino so I’d look like a customer.

A few hours later, I made it to the hotel. I was greeted by a sea of madras shorts and bikini tops. One woman wore only duct tape, for modesty. Someone was trying to perform on one of the stages but had just discovered her whip had been stolen. Chaos ensued.

I found friends who had blessedly found a place to sit. It turned into “comedy corner” with Erin Foley, Nicol Paone, Page Hurwitz, and Suzanne Westenhoefer joining us.

Fortune Feimster came by and instantly attracted a bevy of tan girls in bikinis. One girl made herself comfortable on Fortune’s lap. Good times.

We headed off to the Convention Center for the Kathy and Mo show. If you ever get a chance to see Kathy Najimy and Mo Gaffney, do so, ideally not at the Convention Center. All of the big Club Skirts events are held there because it’s the only place in Palm Springs big enough to accommodate the masses. The fluorescent lighting, bad acoustics, and ugly carpeting are less than sexy however.

The Hollywood Party followed, with Salt-n-Pepa performing. The Fashion Show was held at midnight. The “models” are all celesbians or celebrities who lesbians like, such as Thea Gill. The crowd favorite was newly-out Meredith Baxter in white pajamas strutting her stuff on the catwalk.

One thing you don’t see a lot of at The Dinah is food. Around 1 a.m. it was time to hunt some down. Palm Springs is not much of a bustling metropolis and everything closes early. We finally found an IHOP. Bridget McManus and Karman Kregloe popped up from behind a booth and we joined them. They ordered healthy things, which totally defeats the purpose of going to IHOP at 2 a.m. but may explain why they are thin. I ordered everything on the menu and don’t regret it at all. By the time we left there was a line of lesbians out the door clamoring for omelets.

We opted out of the Sunday pool parties and hit the road. I didn’t even stop at the casino. We did hit the outlet malls just outside of Palm Springs, which are fabulous. I was in the dressing rooms, fortunately dressed, when the earthquake hit. I imagined the dancers falling off their poles back at the Hilton and thanked my lucky stars that I’d survived another Dinah.

By the way, the pie exploded all over the oven and set off the smoke alarm. I need a Plan B.

The Big Gay Sketch Show Season 3 Premiere Party

The Big Gay Sketch Show kicked off its third season on April 13th. It would seem impossible to have a successful show on LOGO on the same night that Fox brings us it’s gayest shows, American Idol and Glee. Despite the odds, The Big Gay Sketch Show premiered extremely well, increasing viewership on LOGO by 50%.

Season Three promises to be the best season yet, with edgier material and outstanding guest stars. Those scheduled to appear include Julianna Margulies, Rachel Dratch, Sharon Osbourne, Rosie O’Donnell, and Vogue Editor Andre Leon Tally. Not too shabby!

A premiere party was held at Capitol City, a hipster sports bar in Hollywood. In addition to several cast members, a number of celebs were in attendance. They included Jane Lynch, Nia Vardalos, and Malin Akerman (Watchmen and 27 Dresses). After the screening and obligatory mingling, the party headed over to the decidedly un-hip bar The Spotlight.

Not for the faint of heart, The Spotlight is a longstanding gay dive bar that you would never find in West Hollywood. The clientele appears to be permanently down on their luck. One regular calls himself a Shaman and sells incense out of his trench coat. Where many bars put out pretzels or peanuts, The Spotlight lays out sweaty deviled eggs in Tupperware, which people shockingly devour. I declined the eggs and incense, nor did I purchase the dog that someone else tried to send me home with.

I hit the pool table while most The Big Gay Sketch show people hit the microphone for some impromptu karaoke. Nicol Paone performed a rousing rendition of “Fame,” while crawling along the bar, narrowly avoiding the eggs.

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