AfterEllen.com Debate Team: The fight over future babies

Hello my fellow passionate and opinionated lesbians (and bisexuals —calm down, you guys are included too) and welcome to the AfterEllen.com Debate Team! 

This is a new column dedicated to the vocal and fastidious women who want their opinions to count, and we are counting.  Make sure you vote in the below poll and tell us which side you’re on.

Round 1: The Fight Over Future Babies

Neither my wife or I have ever wanted to have kids, but fictitious medical couple Callie Torres and Arizona Robbins from Grey’s Anatomy are at odds with their desire (or lack thereof) to become parents.

Grey’s viewers will soon know if these two lady loves will work it out or part ways. Of course, I vote for the former.

Deciding to be a parent is a big decision, but is it worth ruining a loving relationship over? Ideally, if you want to be a parent you should express that to your partner early on in your relationship to ensure that all parties are on the same page. But since people tend to change their minds, do you think one can give their partner a baby ultimatum and choose their future imaginary baby over their present existing relationship?

It is difficult enough to find a partner to whom you are attracted, share common interests with and with whom you also share the same core values (i.e. we are not in an open relationship, even if you meet Pink and she hits on you). So you might actually be lowering your chances for partnering up by insisting on having children.

At the same time, if you’re a person who desperately needs children to complete your family then you should have everything you want and not settle.

The census experts at Wikipedia claim that lesbians make up only 2.6% of the US population. With such a small percentage of us to choose from, you might want to keep your demands to a minimum.

I have a single friend who says she “might” want to have children someday and she won’t even go on a date with someone who knows that they don’t want to be a parent. My friend is not a diehard child lover (wait, that came out wrong) but her “might” just “might” risk her finding her soul mate. 

So what do you think? Should imaginary children have the power to ruin a relationship?

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