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Does Penelope know about this?

I don’t know how to prepare you for this news, so I guess I’ll just come right out and say it. Wait: Sit down if you’re not already sitting. OK. Ready?

Salma Hayek is engaged and pregnant. Commence weeping.

Here’s a picture of Hayek and her fiancé, businessman François-Henri Pinault. Hmm. A word that rhymes with “weird” comes to mind. According to People.com,

Pinault is the CEO of luxury goods firm PPR, which owns Gucci and Yves Saint Laurent, as well as a French department store and national music chain. His father, François, is an avid art collector owning more than 2,500 valuable pieces, including Picassos, Miros and work by contemporary artists including Damien Hirst.
Quelle horreur!

Here’s a picture of Hayek looking much, much happier:

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