Rachel Maddow comes to your iPhone, and other dream lesbian apps

The arrival of Rachel Maddow in the Apple App Store several weeks ago signaled one giant leap for lesbiankind. Finally, official lesbian-made content on your iPhone. With it you can enjoy mind over chatter in the palm of your hand whenever you want. Oh, how I love it when the geeky and the gay intersect.

Of course, that got me to thinking about what other great lesbian-centric content we could have on our iPhones (that is, aside from those wallpapers of Portia de Rossi you downloaded last night — she wasn’t the 2009 AfterEllen.com Hot 100 No. 1 for nothing). What would make “There’s an app for that” really ring true for queer women?

Here are a few I think are just dying to be developed.

The “So You Think You Can Dance…Like Ellen” App

Challenge Ellen DeGeneres to a dance-off in this fast-paced, finger-flexing game. Earns points for dancing over the coffee table and deduct points for getting groped by Chris Matthews.

The “Put That Down” App

Resident lesbian financial guru Suze Orman is there to help her fellow gay women anytime the urge to splurge on a big-ticket item comes up. Guess you really didn’t need that diamond-studded cat condo after all.

The “Look Very Shane Today” App

Let Shane McCutcheon be your style guide*. Scroll through pages and pages of different fashion choices to find the perfect androgynous outfit so you too can look very Shane today. *Haircuts not included: Please see “The Complete Guide to Lesbian Hair” app instead.

The “Wanda Sykes Insult Generator” App

Searching for that perfect put-down? Tired of waking up at 3 a.m. with the retort you should have used hours before? Let Wanda Sykes be your withering wingwoman. You’ll never lose a bar argument again.

So, what other lesbian apps would you like to see — besides, of course, real working gaydar. Come on, developers, get on it.

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