Seattle, WA — In the wake of Amazon.com’s recent disastrous "glitch" which resulted in thousands of gay and lesbian books and authors being stripped of their sales rankings and removed from search results, the online retailer has announced they’re launching new versions of the Kindle for LGBT customers, "to show our gay and lesbian customers we truly have our ham-handed fist on the pulse of gay America," said Amazon.com spokesperson Drew Herdener.
The Lesbian Kindle will debut later this year, but AfterEllen.com was able to get a sneak peak at the product:
There will be some new enhancements to the Lesbian Kindle, as well, including an optional chain for belt attachment, and a built-in filter that screens out all books written by men.
Amazon.com will also be debuting a limited collection of fashionable Kindle covers designed specifically for the Lesbian Kindle.
The White Tank Top Cover
The Flannel Cover
The Leather-Bound L Word Cover
Asked if Amazon.com is planning to ever actually apologize to their gay and lesbian customers for the "glitch," Herdener said brightly, "no, but we donated to the Yes on Prop. 8 campaign!"
EDITOR’S UPDATE: After we published this piece, Herdener contacted us to clarify that the company actually intended to donate to the No on Prop 8. campaign, but there was "a glitch in our information flow that misdirected our funds to the opposing side." No further explanation or apology is expected.
This is one of a series of satirical blog posts about entertainment. See more here.