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A Queer Girl’s Guide to the Bay Area

April 30, 2016 marked a year since the closing of The Lexington Club, San Francisco’s iconic (and only) full-time lesbian bar. For the last 14 months, my co-director Susannah Smith and I have been working on a film called Never A Cover to document the Lex’s nearly 20-year tenure and its place in history amidst the ever-changing cultural landscape of San Francisco. While there aren’t currently any seven-days-a-week brick and mortar lesbian bars, as a 16+ year resident of San Francisco, I feel confident in saying that the Bay Area still feels queer AF.

While there are a million awesome things to do and see and eat in the Bay Area, I’m writing specifically about those that cater to, employ or are owned by lesbians/dykes/queers/trans people because one great way to create community and make sure queer women stay in The Bay is to support lesbian-owned businesses! Duh.

Daytripping by Neighborhood

The Mission

Valencia St. might not be the lesbian superhighway it once was, but it’s still home to stalwart Good Vibrations where you can get all the accoutrements from an extremely knowledgeable and helpful staff for your big date (or solo night in). If your date night plans include other people, you should probably head down the block to Glama-Rama Salon, which for 19 years has had a SUPER LEZZIE VIBE (according to GR stylist and SF Pride Board member Joey Cupcake). It’s more than just a place to get your hair did. On May 21, they are hosting the opening reception for Meg Allen’s Butch Photo Series.

While we’re on the topic of self-care, since 1995 lesbians have been getting their woo on at The Scarlet Sage Herb Co., where, amongst other things, you can pick up herbs, a tarot deck and a lot of good advice about whatever ails you. If you’re thinking of getting inked, dyke/queer-owned, gender-inclusive Black & Blue Tattoo has been operating since 1995, is open every day and accepts walk-ins.

Feeling well also means eating well (and sometimes bottomless mimosas don’t hurt). For that (and a fun brunch scene) I’d recommend Radish, a lesbian-owned American fare eatery with a Southern twist. They even have their own farm in nearby Sonoma. Another great option is Dolores Park Cafe, another lesbian-owned establishment that in addition to serving up fresh organic local fare, also delivers female-centric art shows and the occasional live acoustic set.

If shopping and eating makes you sleepy, I’d suggest grabbing a blanket and heading over to the newly renovated Dolores Park. The southern and unofficial gay side (I’ve heard Gay Beach, the Fruit Shelf, Sappho’s Sandbox and Dagger Dunes to name a few) has finally re-opened and it’s A PARTY.

For a quieter alternative, grab a book from the queer lit section of Modern Times on 24th Street and head over to Precita Park which borders Bernal Heights. The scene there is less boombox and disco house and more sandbox and bounce house-you’ll find toddlers with two moms, lesbian couples having romantic picnics, and the occasional womyn’s flag football game. Precita Park Cafe, on the southeastern corner, is a lesbian-owned business (Park Cafe Family) that serves great coffee, fresh juices, and seasonal fare from an often-changing menu as well as ice-cream and beer and wine. Nearby is also Galería de la Raza, a Chicano/Latino arts organization that often features queer and lesbian work.

When you are done in the sun head over to The Roxie, an indie, non-profit movie theater that often has queer and lesbian programming especially during Frameline Fest, which runs June 16-26 in 2016. Another option is the 30-year-old collective Artists’ Television Access where you can pop in on the monthly queer Periwinkle Cinema night or a film in the Gaze Series which is dedicated to female filmmakers. Also, the long-running cabaret style event The News is the place to see new works by queer Bay Area artists every first Tuesday at SOMAarts near the edge of the Mission. On the third Saturday at Martuni’s Piano Bar is Homophonic, a quarterly event showcasing local queer talent.

Bernal Heights

Bernal Heights used to be known for its population of slightly older lesbians who gathered en masse in the gardens of The Wild Side West. These days, the bar is still lesbian-owned, though it’s officially just a “neighborhood bar.” That said, a huge gay flag hangs over the garden which, when I dropped by last week, was full of queers of all ages. If you’d rather take your sugar in the form of gluten-free flourless chocolate brownies or seasonal fruit frangipane tarts, Chez Panisse alum Stacie Pierce‘s Little Bee Baking is located nearby on Cortland Avenue. (Fun side note: Stacie met her wife Adria at the Lexington Club in 2001.)

Just down the hill on Mission Street is Virgil’s Sea Room co-owned by Lila Thirkield (former owner of the Lexington Club) and is known for margarita pitchers and drink specials named after SF icons served on a spacious heated patio. Wednesdays at Virgil’s is Old Dirty Bingo, with-you guessed it!-bingo, prizes (like gift bags from Good Vibrations) and dancing, hosted by the former manager of the Lex.

Next door is El Rio, another lesbian-owned bar that often has a DJ or bands in the back room as well as a ton of day parties like the 20 season strong “Tea Dance for women and bois” Mango, the award-winning mixed queer soul party Hard French, and for “Drag, Dancing & Disorder” (and a lot of sexy queers) Daytime Realness. I recommend arriving early for all these events-the lines can be looooooong.

Castro

Historically the epicenter of gay male culture in San Francisco, these days the Castro is feeling a little more mixed, both with lesbians and straight people. The span of Noe just off Market which I hereby proclaim Lesbian Lane is occupied by three frontiers women of sorts-Theresa Beaumont (a former attorney and screenwriter) opened Wildcraft Espresso Bar which distinguishes itself by offering $1 coffees, sheep’s milk espresso drinks, bone broth and art collaborations; Mary Mueller‘s Giddy offers wonderfully curated “provisions for your sweet tooth” including, well, just about everything you could possibly want sourced locally and from around the world; and Deedee Crossett, whose Skin on Market offers complimentary consultations, 20 minute microZone treatments if you’re in a hurry as well as traditional face treatments and peels. If you go on a Wednesday afternoon, you can pop over to the Castro Farmers’ Market which is directly across the intersection.

Currently on display at the GLBT History Museum on 18th are posters by lesbians, bisexuals, and transwomen of color who rallied for sexual freedom and economic justice in the 1970s to 1990s. Admission is free on the first Wednesday of the month.

Oakland

At this point, it’s arguable which side of the bay is more gay or affordable (hint: neither). Regardless, Oakland has a reputation as the place where all the young queers (and lesbians with kids) are living, and it has an accordingly fresh and vibrant scene with some really great new lesbian-owned shops and restaurants.

For a locally-focused and socially-conscious shopping experience, start downtown at the Show & Tell Concept Shop where you can pick up home goods, accessories and clothing. Women and transmen can drop into Saint Harridan on a Friday or Saturday without an appointment to get a fitting for a perfectly tailored USA union-made suit or shirt. To complete the dapper look, I’d recommend getting a haircut or image consulting appointment with the traveling groomer extraordinaire Christian Eddings of Cultured Members Society. And I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the Feelmore Adult Gallery, the extremely well curated go-to sexy time shop for East Bay lesbians. (Collectors will appreciate the huge collection of vintage Playboy magazines).

If you’re like me and tend to get hangry after 20 minutes of shopping you might want to pop into Super Juiced first and grab something like the Cacao Moon, a Housemade Almond Milk, Banana, Maca Veggie Protein (gluten-free), Almond butter, raw cacao, chia seeds and Coconut oil, pink-salted smoothie. For the full brunch scene try Cock-A-Doodle Cafe where you can get Thai fried chicken with graham cracker-crusted french toast and a bloody mary. Another option for a weekend brunch is Top Chef alum Preeti Mistry’s Indian street food restaurant Juhu Beach Club, which serves up doswaffles, their house creation which blends Indian dosa with Belgian waffles and is served savory with green chili fried chicken or sweet with Nutella and cardamom whipped cream.

If after a meal like that you need a jolt, Modern Coffee has two locations serving up local beans and baked treats. Or, if you’re just in the mood for something lighter for lunch, Terry and her wife Julia serve up a great grilled chicken Caesar or Mango salad at Garden House. For lunch or dinner I’d also recommend Sarah Kirnon‘s Miss Ollie’s in old Oakland which serves Afro-Caribbean dishes like jerk shrimp, island-style pork or skillet fried chicken.

When you’re ready for some arts + culture, grab a book from the used lesbian fiction section at Laurel Bookstore and head on over Qulture Collective, an LGBTQIA+ retail shop, gallery and hangout space that works to promote QTPOC visibility. Located inside is Mamacitas Cafe, which prioritizes hiring systems-impact young women and has some unique offerings like Nutella churro donut kebabs and sweet and savory porridge bowls. Make sure to check out the calendar for Studio Grand (at press there is an exhibit called “When She Rises” honoring the stories of women’s resilience) and if you are in the mood to sit and be entertained, The New Parkway Theater is a community-centered cinema where you can sit on vintage couches and watch a Warriors game or cult classic while you eat their local pub grub.

Nightmoves

Like most cities, lesbian nightlife in the Bay Area (especially since the closure of The Lexington Club) is a moving target, so let me start by saying that recently, in my experience, Castro bars/clubs Toad Hall, Badlands, QBAR and Beaux have had decent numbers of women in the mix as well as groups of straight couples. Covers tend to be small and if you’re in a group it’s probably worth bouncing around (all within a short walking distance) to see what’s looking like a good time. Another great option for your squad is Oasis, the new cabaret-style club in SOMA that hosts drag-themed events like Robyn vs Bjork, Beyonce tributes and dance parties.

On the other hand, if you looking to meet some ladies or generally suffer from FOMO you should check out the following promoters/clubs to find out what is happening and where:

Lex Presents: Look for one-off parties and benefits brought to you by the Lex

Old Dirty Bingo: Monthly event at Virgil’s with former Lex staff, bingo and prizes

Guerilla Dyke Bar: Monthly event for dykes and all their queer friends. It’s for butch dykes, femme dykes, andro-dykes, dykes of color, white dykes, cis-dykes, trans-dykes, genderqueer dykes, bi-dykes, fag-dykes, poly-dykes, monogamous dykes, single dykes, coupled dykes, married dykes, never-gonna-get-married dykes, drinking dykes, sober dykes who still love a gay bar and any other dykes you can think of. It’s a private facebook group, so you need permission from moderator to join. Do it!

Ships in the Night: Queer dance party and organization that facilitates arts-based fundraisers for local, community-oriented Bay Area projects

Swagger Like Us: Queer Hip Hop Dance Party

Hella Gay: Monthly mixed queer dance party

Hey Girl Hey: Monthly queer dance party that benefits local non-profits

No Sé : Oakland’s First Friday /After Party /Dance Party. Expect a mixed crowd upstairs in the gorgeous ballroom of the Starline Social Club. Food is also available downstairs.

Bad Habits: New monthly party in the Mission for LGBTQ Community, Queers, Trans, Ladies, Queens and Unicorns!

Hella Saucey: Weekly queer dance party at Qbar

Uhaul: Monthly party for girls who love girls

Hard French: Award-winning outdoor queer soul dance party

Mango: Monthly outdoor dance party for women and bois

Daytime Realness: Monthly campy/drag outdoor dance party

Uptown Homos: Monthly dive bar evening for all Queers, Trans Men and Women, QPOC, GenderQueer/Variant folk, Femmes, Butches, Babes and their dogs, Dykes, Lesbians, and Unicorn identified persons.

House of Babes: Femme DJ collective mainly focusing on Pride events

Wingman: Monthly night for 30+ y.o. queers. Old-school style. No waiting in line, no people slamming into each other, just drinks and queers. And maybe some cruising.

Festivals

Queer Arts Festival

SF Pride

Dyke March

Frameline

Notable Destinations

Jessica Lanyadoo Astrologer & Psychic Medium: An astrologer and psychic medium who uses tarot and intuitive counsel to help people help themselves. She’s been wooing the Bay Area (her garden studio is in Oakland) and beyond since 1995 and has a devoted following, so you’ll need to book well in advance (though she also does sessions via phone or video chat). Be on lookout for her audiobook, Relationships 101: Your Astrological Guide to Doing Intimacy Right, out summer 2016, and her forthcoming astrology podcast, Astrology For Days, with astrologer Annabel Gat.

Andy Blum, CMT: If those San Francisco hills got you feeling sore, visit certified massage therapist and yoga instructor Andy Blum for results-oriented massage & bodywork that is a blend of trigger point and myofascial release. (She also makes her own handcrafted herbal salves which she uses on clients)

Getting Around: Try Homobiles, a non-profit 24/7 NOTAFLOF taxi service started by Tribe 8 lead singer Lynn Breedlove.

Where to stay: Try the Phoenix, a favorite amongst touring rock bands. (The pool is often the site for day parties thrown by queer party promoters)

Get out of town for a night: Boon Hotel + Spa. An hour and a half out of the city, Guerneville is a lesbian paradise: river, redwoods and relaxation. The dog-friendly Boon is chic and modern, lesbian owned and operated, has a saltwater pool, hot tub, honor bar and great restaurant in town. They also offer spa services.

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