Maybe it’s my jealous streak, or human nature in general, but when I’m in love, sharing that person with others is simply not an option. When lesbian director Karen Everett started making her documentary on being in a polyamorous relationship, she admitted it was not easy — at all.
Everett’s full-length documentary, Women in Love, was released in 2005 and followed her quest to find a long-term, loving relationship by not demanding monogamy from herself or her partner. Independent media company Current TV released a short version of the documentary on their website last week, which, in under seven minutes, takes the viewer Everett’s struggle and eventual acceptance of her non monogamous relationship.
Everett’s film, even the short version, raises some questions that got me thinking about how contemporary, western society views love: If you are attracted to someone else, should you resist the temptation and remain with your longer-term partner? If placed in a situation where you were asked to either share the one you love with someone else or abandon that love entirely, what choice do you make?
At the beginning of the film, Everett asks herself: “Was my dream of living happily ever after with someone more likely to become a reality if we gave each other the freedom to love other people?” You can watch the short version here:
Everett made the decision to experiment with polyamory — being in a loving relationship with more than one person at a time — while she was single. She realized fairly quickly that most women were not into the prospect of sharing their lover, but then she met a woman named Erin and “fell deeply in love.”
“Eight months into our relationship, Erin began dating other women. Although I told her I as non-monogamous, that was in theory,” Karen admits. “Now that we were actually practicing it, I felt insecure.”
The film shows how being open and honest with your partner can make nearly any situation rewarding to all parties involved. One of the biggest struggles the filmmaker had was getting her friends — who thought the idea was absurd — to support her decision.
Current TV’s short on the film had me wanting more. Critics lauded Women In Love Everett’s best film and she is a truly candid and talented filmmaker.
While the word “polygamy” continues to conjure up thought of patriarchal societies who diminish both women and homosexuals, there is nothing wrong with two consenting adults deciding to take a different path in their lives together.
Do you have any interest in non-monogamous relationships? Or should wanderers just stay single until they are ready to settle down?
Want to learn more? You can pick up a copy of the full-length documentary at Outcast-Films.com.