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“Carmilla” recap (2.35 & 2.36): The world is a vampire

Wow. I mean, holy cats, wow. This last week of Carmilla had so many chills, tears and shocking moments, I don’t even know where to start. I apologize that this recap is a little late too but you see I just got back from Toronto where I HOSTED THE CARMILLA FINALE! It was such a thrill to meet so many amazing fans and I will write up a full report early next week, including an interview with the cast after the finale. Ok, are you ready, here we go!

The battle wages on and poor Kirsch has earned himself a gaping stomach wound. Danny helps him onto the couch but you can’t keep a good man down. He wants to fight but Danny would prefer that his intestines stay firmly in place.

Laura is all put out that Carmilla didn’t come to fight but Danny is tired of hearing about that useless lesbian vampire. How many times do you have to put you life on the line to get a girl to notice, amiright? Just like Anya Jenkins before her, Danny does something incredibly brave and stupid. She pushes Laura out of the way and kicks a bunch of ass. Unfortunately she turns away from the danger to check on Laura and Kirsch, which seals her fate, and Gretchen Weiners Theo literally and figuratively stabs her in the back.

Theo struts in as Danny bleeds out on the floor, and I can not legit remember anything he says because I was so full of tears and rage. Basically, he’s an opportunist and he placed his bets on Vordernberg. Kirsch feels the same way as me, and promises to get Theo one day, as Laura pulls a dying Danny onto her lap. It’s all very Eponine and Marius and I am cry-singing “A Little Fall of Rain” right now. Danny tells Laura that she meant what she said, that it was all worth it, that Laura was worth it. She takes her last breath right where she longed to be, in Laura’s arms.

Danny, my dear, tall gay Danny. You were too good for this world. I think that shipping often overshadowed what a compelling character Danny is. Brave and smart, she is the Joan of Arc of Silas. She is the epitome of the tagline, “love will have its sacrifices.” Sharon Belle has done a hell of a job with this role, and I am gutted about losing Danny in the way I way I was gutted over losing Anya. Give me a complicated woman carrying a wounded heart any day.

Laura and Kirsch are devastated and yet they have to endure Theo sitting there, twirling his knife, gloating. Mel walks in looking for Danny and finds this terrible scene. They may have had their difference but Mel feels the ache of loss too. They were Summers Sisters, and Danny didn’t deserve such a death. She calls out Theo’s cowardice in the fact that he had to stab her because he knew he’d lose in a fair fight. Theo tells Mel to surrender, but she is ride or die and wants to kill her some Zetas. Laura is the one who stops her. There has been too much blood shed already. Mel reluctantly agrees to surrender after Danny is given a proper funeral a la pyre. These Summers do not mess around. That is some Xena shit right there. Theo agrees to give the Summers and Danny’s body safe passage. He then throws shade at Kirsch on his way out, and I have no doubt that Kirsch won’t let him live any of this down. As Mel steps forward to take Danny’s body, Laura clutches on to her tightly. It’s freaking heartbreaking. So much guilt and sorrow coursing through that tiny gay.

There’s a rare fade to black and the next scene we see a broken Laura, staring off into space as Perry, LaF and J.P. arrive, excited about their recent find. They don’t even have time to process the loss of Danny before Vordernberg starts congratulating himself over the loudspeaker.

He tells the campus of his plans to kill the rest of the board and publicly execute Carmilla in the quad. He then pokes his evil head around the corner and reiterates he’s going to kill Carmilla with a smile on his face. Jerk.

Finale time! Hold on to your feels. Vordernberg hauls Carmilla in, decked out in chains. Carmilla is surprised at Laura’s non-reaction, especially since Laura didn’t show up when Carmilla attempted to save her. Oh yeah, that’s because Laura never knew, thanks to possessed Perry/The Dean.

Vordernberg takes a mo to execute the board in what sounds like the background of a gangster movie. He pushes Carmilla to her knees and attempts to behead her, but Perry intervenes. She gives Laura the charter and tells her to destroy it, effectively stripping Vorderberg of his power and killing him. In the chaos of the moment and the Corvae Corp hot on their trail, Carmilla leads the gang into the basement. Well, that was the plan until Perry disappears, which she seems to do a lot. LaF wanted to go after her, but J.P. volunteers to keep them safe, so the three remaining Scoobies head to safety.

Safe, but scared and upset, Carmilla, Laura and LaF hook into the school’s ethernet. LaF is beside themself about losing Perry and J.P. Laura is practically catatonic and Carmilla attempts to lighten the mood. In other words, it’s a mess. They are in the library, which somehow drew Carmilla to it. Hey, I just report on these things. It is sentient after all.

36 hours later, Carmilla and Laura are hunkered down, and Carmilla is back to her old self while Laura is forever changed. She’s murdered a man, and she did it to save the one thing she loved more than anything in the world. Carmilla. Still, you don’t walk away from that without major battle scars to the soul. Carmilla and Laura take tiny steps back towards each other, and maybe once they can deal with all this brokenness around them, love will let them heal. Meanwhile, Carmilla tries to cheer Laura with chocolate.

Laura is worried that the fact that she killed Vordernberg makes her just as bad as he was, but Carmilla explains that saving the world isn’t easy. You make tough choices, you live with the consequences, and you try not to define yourself by the mistakes you’ve made. She doesn’t want Laura to become like her, and damnit all if that wasn’t the most brutally honest thing Carmilla has ever expressed. Laura comments about how it feels like someone has been ahead of them the entire time (because they were) and it really reminds Carmilla of chess games with her mother (check mate! ding ding). Laura is like, well, the Dean’s dead and all, super dead and stuff. Except that she’s not and Carmilla’s known this whole time. Oof!

The credits roll but that’s not all. Perry, who is officially Deaning it out, addresses us directly. She’s back and badder than ever, even if Perry wasn’t her first choice for possession.

She basically confesses to all the murders and chaos on campus, and admits that having Perry’s body made it easier to deceive everyone. She switches back to Perry mode when Kirsch arrives with Danny’s body, that he saved from the pyre. The Dean works her magic and in a moment that I know the alive Danny would very much object to, makes Danny a vampire. Annie Briggs has been so masterful this season in this dual role. What a joy to watch her walk that line. Anyway, the Dean’s no dummy. She needs an army of powerful minions, and making Danny a vamp, is a pretty obvious decision. VampDanny rises, commanding and kind of terrifying. She grabs Kirsch and kisses him. It’s not so much a kiss of passion, but one of newly born hunger and thrall. Danny is starving, and the poor, naive Kirsch is her first meal. The Dean is pleased and our dear Danny is now her deadly pawn.

The Dean tells us her plan is working perfectly, and the first gate is now open. Welp. Oh and guess what else.

Yasss! The Dean also brought Mattie back! That’s going to be interesting with VampDanny now.

So much to process, so many fantastic performances. I was so utterly satisfied with this finale, yet I’m also chomping at the bit to know that happens next. Here’s hoping for a Season 3 because this finale set up so many epic storylines that I want to see come to fruition. What are your thoughts? Tell me in the comments. Also, how excited are you about Season Zero which starts on October 22nd?

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