Celebrity couple name fusions, or uninames, are ubiquitous, if not completely predictable, these days. Ever since someone with attention deficit created the monster of “Bennifer,” we haven’t been able to escape the Brangelinas, TomKats and Spederlines of the world, or at least Hollywood. It’s even too difficult to say well-known fictional couples’ names separately. Spashley, Tibette and Foreteen are a few examples we’re all pretty familiar with.
Clearly, this is a trend that’s not going away anytime soon. And this week, NPR even went so far as to call our new president and first lady “Marrack.”
I was surprised that NPR stooped to the tabloid-ish level. I mean, this is an intelligent organization that covers topics intellectually, not in the typical gossip blog fashion. Surely they, of all people, can handle saying two names, separately. Besides, I’d like to think the Obamas are on a totally separate level than Tom Cruise, Ben Affleck and either of his Jennifers.
That being said, celesbian couples are a little behind and need to catch up in the uniname game. Might I suggest some of my ideas:
Melissa Etheridge + Tammy Lynn Etheridge = Melynn
Daniela Sea + Bitch = Ditch
Ellen + Portia = Elletia
Kate Clinton + Urvashi Vaid = Kavashi
Pamela Means + Alix Olson = Alimela
Lindsay + Samantha = Linantha
JD Samson and SIA = JIA
Rosie + Kelli = Rollie
Cynthia + Christine = Cystine
Are there any others who could use a uniname?