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Collect “Damages” during a marathon of Glenn Close goodness

So, you’re watching Damages, right? Right? Well, if the drama has somehow slipped your radar and you fear jumping in now might render you hopelessly, helplessly lost, you’re in luck. On Monday (otherwise known as Labor Day for us U.S. Americans), FX will run the first five episodes of the season season from 3-8 p.m.

The marathon is the perfect opportunity to get caught up on all the twisty, turny treachery in the world of high-stakes litigation at Hewes & Associates. I’ve been riveted since the first episode, and not just by the exquisite cut of Glenn Close‘s power suits (though, gosh, they are awfully nice).

Sure, some of the twists and turns have been, shall we say, a little unusual. (A hand grenade, really?) But overall it’s the show’s timeless central question that keeps me coming back week after week. That question being, simply, “Who can you trust?” Can you trust the manipulative, calculating and fearsome Patty Hewes (played by the magnificent, cunning and fierce Glenn) whose will to win seemingly knows no bounds?

Can you trust the ambitious young lawyer Ellen Parsons (played by Rose Byrne, who is no slouch in the impeccably-tailored department herself) who starts out fresh-faced and ends up blood-soaked?

Can you trust the disgraced CEO Arthur Frobisher (played by a white-haired Sam Malone Ted Danson) who swears his stock sell-off was legit while his now-unemployed workers go on food stamps?

Can you trust Patty’s right-hand man Tom Shayes (played by Tate Donovan — loved him in Space Camp), whose lap-dog loyalty makes you wonder just how much abuse he can take?

Sadly, something I know you can’t trust are those online listings showing L Word alum Sarah Shahi as a guest star. FX publicists said that despite being listed in the credits on IMBD, TV Guide and TV.com, Sarah is “not slated to appear.” Though even without Sarah, trust me, there is plenty of eye- and (more importantly) mind-candy to go around.

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