What is up with all these stars choosing truly tragic looks for their big comebacks? First Lauryn Hill, now Gwyneth Paltrow. Her cover photo for the new issue of W made me truly thankful for headline writers. Seriously, if it hadn’t said “Gwyneth,” I would have had no idea. None.
Do the editors of W have some sort of secret (well, now, not-so-secret) grudge against Gwynnie? Perhaps the publisher had money on Saving Private Ryan to win best picture in 1998 and lost a bundle when Shakespeare in Love snuck in to steal the Oscar. Really, it’s the only explanation I can think of for making Blythe Danner’s daughter look like an unholy mash-up of bushy-eyebrowed Sienna Miller, passed-out Lindsay Lohan and a Communist-era East German transsexual.
And if you thought that was weird, wait until you see the inside photos (after the jump).
A rat, a sippy cup and a wan blonde. It’s like a bad nightmare Bette Porter had after watching too many Ingmar Bergman films.
Next, at first I thought this Cat on a Hot Tin Roof–inspired scene was kinda hot (especially since she seems to be portraying Brick instead of Maggie), but then I spotted the metallic mouse ears. Or are they spoons? Seriously, what the hell?
This next shot looks like it was taken for some twisted girls-with-canes-and thigh-highs fetish site. However, I refuse to Google to verify whether such sites exist. I’ll do anything for blog, but I won’t do that.
And finally, for a big splashy cover spread meant to herald her return, why on earth would Gwyneth pose like a dead person? Unless it’s meant as a refreshingly honest visual metaphor for the state of her career. In which case, very clever. Carry on.