“Mistresses” recap (1.03): You’ve been Joss’d

Previously on Mistresses, everyone cheated on everyone. I feel like that’s always going to be the “previously on,” so just don’t forget it.

We open on Savi and her husband, post-sexytimes. They look exhausted.

They exchange “I love you lately”s which seems a little strange but they’re both smiling so let’s go with it. Savi is late for work, again, but she doesn’t seem to mind so much. She tries (and succeeds in) distracting her husband from her lateness with kisses.

Meanwhile, April is dropping her daughter off for school. She spots and waves to Hot Dad Richard, but Richard is having none of it. Not keen on being stood up twice in a row, it seems.

Across town, Karen is making a mess in her office. Sensing trouble, Handsome Jacob materializes and asks her what’s wrong, because she only causes tornadoes when she’s in distress. She says she’s been having some personal issues and then, as if on cue, her dead lover’s wife appears and asks to chat. She says Sam has dropped out of school, so Karen refers him to a therapist that is decidedly not her.

Then, just to upstage everyone else ever, Joss shows up to work, legs first.

Everyone in Joss’s office is in a tizzy because a new boss swooped in and hasn’t said anything, so they all assume the worst. She assures them she has it under control and goes into the big man’s office, where he’s chatting in Italian on the phone. When he doesn’t respond to her standard-level advances, she starts turning on her charm IN ITALIAN. How he does not fall directly off his chair is beyond me, because I almost fell off mine and I wasn’t sitting three feet away from her.

Instead, he tells her that her outfit is not appropriate and he will not be as easily impressed as Mack had been.

Savi finally makes it into her office, where Dominic is wondering where she’s been. She makes up excuses, but Dom says they’re going to have to make up for it with all-nighters. Savi is freaking out because she thinks he’s hitting on her but poor Dominic can’t help it that his sultry voice makes everything sound like an innuendo.

At their regularly scheduled panic session, Karen is freaking out that Sam is moving into Tom’s old bachelor pad. She’s convinced she left evidence of herself behind, but Savi points out that there’s no way her OCD would let her. Once she calms Karen down, Savi addresses her own concerns — she’s not sure she can pull off spending nights in the office with Dominic. Karen believes Savi when she says she won’t do it again, but Savannah doesn’t look as sure of her own will power.

Joss goes to visit April at her store because she needs someone to vent to about her new boss. However, in the middle of her rant, she gets a text from him to meet her at a hotel at 8pm. April is a little wigged out by this, but Joss is convinced she has Olivier playing on her terms now, so she’s quite pleased with herself.

Joss shows up to the hotel, dressed to the nines. No, I take that back. Dressed to the elevens.

Joss is a little confused because Olivier doesn’t seem as flirtatious as people normally are with her. In fact, he’s talking business. He wants to know why she has more properties than everyone else. Joss says it’s because she’s good at what she does, but he wants proof. He’s taking half of her properties from her until she sells a house she’s been sitting on for a year. Also, it turns out that he’s just using the hotel restaurant to conduct business, because one of her coworkers shows up soon to take her place. Joss is HIGHLY offended. Helena from Orphan Black needs to come cut this Olivier down to size.

Savi and Dom are spending their first late night in the office together and Savi’s guilty conscience is making her into a crazy person. He paid for dinner and they accidentally brushed hands and you would think he was giving her a striptease the way she flips out on him and tells him they need to be normal, like they were before.

THEN THEY START GETTING IT ON.

Oh, wait, phew. It’s just a dream. A very, very vivid dream that wakes Savi up in a panic. Guilty conscience is guilty.

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