“Mistresses” recap (1.01): Sexual Beings


Within the first 60 seconds of the pilot episode of Mistresses, we have Alyssa Milano, looking sexier than ever, with cleavage to boot.

So far, we’re off to a great start.

Alys—sorry, Savannah sidles up to a bar and immediately starts flirting with a handsome blonde man who is already sitting. They coyly flirt before leaving together, but first she tells him to put on his wedding ring.

When they get back to a bedroom, the man interrupts things with his beautiful Australian accent…that kills the mood. They’re married and Savannah is ovulating and this was all just a role playing game that fizzled.

Meanwhile, at a Pretty Things store, we meet the beautiful April, who is embarrassed to find out her friend put an app on her phone which basically seems like the straight version of Grindr, and is causing a sketchy dude to hit on her. She is none too pleased and scurries away from the creepy customer.

In her office, we meet Karen, a therapist. She seems to be having wine while talking to her patient? My kind of therapy. She is very familiar with this particular client, and he ends up telling her that he is dying. But wait, there’s more—even though his diagnosis has made his marital problems seem trivial, it also makes him feel compelled to tell Karen he’s also in love with her. This leads to sexytimes and him asking her to help him make his last moments on earth less painful.

In an office building, Josslyn is having sexytimes of her own with her boss. He says something about leaving his wife and she literally begs him not to. He can’t believe his luck when she struts out without strings…or her panties.

Six weeks later, on the way to show a house (she’s a real estate agent), Joss calls her sister, Savannah. Savannah is telling her about her babymaking problems and Joss is just glad she doesn’t have to deal with that crap. She hangs up with her sister as the couple she is showing the house to arrives—a beautiful lesbian couple.

Karen arrives at her lover’s funeral, and someone approaches her to tell her that the family wants to see her. His wife thanks her, hugs her, holds her hand through the service. She has no idea. The son, Sam, on the other hand, knows his dad was having an affair and wants to talk to Karen about it in private at the wake. Karen runs into Savannah at the funeral and takes her up on the invite to April’s party to avoid having to talk to Sam.

April, Josslyn, Karen and Savannah are at the party, catching up. They’ve been friends for a long time, it seems, but have been out of touch lately. April mentions the sex-finder app Josslyn put on her phone and says that she isn’t sure if she’s ready to move on from her husband, who died three years ago. April tells her friends about phone calls she’s been getting with nothing but shallow breathing on the other end, which she thinks it’s her dead husband’s ghost sending her messages to not move on. 

Just then, a Hot Dad strolls on in the room. Joss audibly notices when he mentions his ex and he makes all kinds of awkward flirty faces at April.

At a doctor’s appointment, Savi and her husband learn that Savannah’s fertility tests were all fine. Her husband, however, has weird sperm, which makes him very sad.

In more interesting news, Josslyn is now in a big fancy house, looking fierce as ever. She’s bonking her boss again and says he has to go because she has to show the house. He informs her that he put a bid on the house for them to use as their love nest, since Joss’s lease is about to run out.

Joss and Savi decide to talk about their problems during some sisterly bonding — at a lingerie store. (Just go with it.)

Savi is going to try to distract her husband from his sadness with her sexiness, and she informs Josslyn that Mack’s offer sounds a little like being a sex slave and that she should think carefully before agreeing to it.

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