Previously on Orphan Black, Cosima and Delphine made crazy science together, Alison lost her cool on yet another suspected Monitor, and KIRA. GOT HIT. BY A CAR.
We open with Kira being rushed to the hospital, and poor Sarah is (understandably) a wreck. They’re forced to stay in the waiting room while Kira is checked out and Alison doesn’t really know what to do with herself, so she offers to get coffee. Felix decides Alison isn’t helping, so he gives her his keys and tells her to stay at his place for a while.
The doctors see something on Kira’s sonogram that raises a little suspicion, but they ultimately go out and tell Sarah that she has a lucky little girl and she’s going to be just fine.
On the sketchy abandoned boats, Helena is getting scolded by a very unhappy Tomas. Her phone goes off because Sarah is calling, so Tomas tells Helena to answer it and make Sarah come to them, but Helena has this inherent need to protect Sarah and won’t do what Tomas asks. He’s not a huge fan of being disobeyed, so he does what any normal authority figure would do to an unruly subordinate and puts her in a cage.
At the townhouse, Paul is giving Freaky Leekie a tour of his and Beth’s place. The good doctor tells Paul that he doesn’t believe a word Olivier said – he knows there were two clones in the club and he knows that Helena is way too insane to pull off being Beth long and well enough to fool Paul.
Meanwhile, Alison is giving Felix’s loft a full OCD wipe down. Scrubbing, sorting, even storing certain … paraphernalia. She asks if she can stay with him until she gets back on her feet, and then asks if he’ll go with her to pick up some stuff from her house. I don’t know about you, but I am kind of obsessed with this friendship.
Cosima is chatting on the phone with Sarah, glad that Kira is okay. Sarah asks how it is scientifically possible that Kira survived such a violent accident with just a few scrapes, but the only science Cosima has been very good at lately has been making crazy science with Delphine, so she doesn’t really know. She’s not even sure how it’s possible Sarah HAD a biological child, honestly. Sarah tells her once more to stay away from Delphine.
Paul stops by Mrs. S’s house to bring Kira some toys and to tell them that Leekie knows that it wasn’t only Helena in the club, and that her name is Sarah Manning. He also tells them that Leekie wants to arrange a meeting with Sarah, which honestly doesn’t sound like an awesome idea.
Back at the University, Cosima is approached by an eager beaver who has the results of the DNA testing she asked for. He shows her that there is a synthetic sequence in the samples, and that it’s different for each source, even though everything else is identical. Delphine interrupts the share-session and proceeds to make the little beaver super nervous by planting a (very seductive) kiss on Cosima after inviting herself over.
Sarah is off to meet Dr. Leekie and asks Mrs. S if she is going to be okay alone with Kira. She is assured they’ll be fine when Mrs. S whips out her giant shotgun, because she is the best foster mother ever.
The police are super confused about the fact that they have like a bushel of dead and alive people that all look exactly the same, and now this Felix character is somehow involved. Art arranges an off-the-record meeting with “Beth” and gives her the chance to come clean, because he knows something fishy is going on that started with the Maggie Chen incident. Sarah continues to play dumb, trying to stave him off as long as possible.
In the suburbs, Felix and Alison walk right into an intervention, complete with the local pastor. Donnie starts and lays everything out on the table – pills, drinking, craft room torture. Normal intervention stuff. Aynsley goes next – sex with her husband, death threats, etc. Eventually it all becomes too much for poor Alison and she storms upstairs into the bathroom.
Cosima calls Sarah and tells her that she was wrong, that their DNA isn’t 100% identical – it seems they all have a bar code of sorts. Sarah tells Cosima that she’s about to meet Leekie, and despite the geeky clone’s suggestion to hear him out, she’s seriously considering putting a bullet in his brain. She also asks Cosima if she ratted her out to Delphine, because Sarah can’t think of how else Leekie would know her real name.
The meeting happens at an abandoned construction site, because apparently nearly everything is abandoned in this city. Leekie is that combination of kind and creepy that keeps you wondering whose side he’s on, though it’s clear Sarah doesn’t trust him. He says he oversees data collection on the clones, but Sarah and Helena hadn’t been under his supervision. He knows about Tomas, and says that he’s the opposite of a Neolutionist and a religious extremist. He had taken Helena and trained her to kill other clones, and Leekie (supposedly) wants to save her, to deprogram her, to help her.
Later, when Delphine arrives at Cosima’s, the stunning scientist is sulking at her desk. She lets Delphine kiss her, almost resigns herself to it, part of her knowing it would most likely be their last.
Delphine can tell something is off, and Cosima shows her that she found a picture online of her and Leekie from when they had worked together before. She knew from the planted transcript that the French beauty was full of it, and she knew Delphine had known Leekie all along, but she didn’t think she’d snoop around her apartment and give up the names of her fellow clones. Broken and angry, Cosima starts packing her things, but won’t tell Delphine where because she would just tell Leekie. Delphine swears all she told him was the names of the girls – not Kira – and that it was to protect her.
Delphine apologizes and begs Cosima to understand that she knows she lied about…well, everything, but that she really did fall for her. Cosima is like, “You weren’t even very good at crazy science anyway.” And Delphine finally admits defeat and leaves.
While Helena is still locked in a cage and trying her darndest to escape, Mrs. S and Sarah are talking about whether or not they should off her. Sarah thinks it might be too hard – Siobhan doesn’t understand what it’s like to have a clone, to look someone in the face and feel like it’s a part of you looking back. Mrs. S adds to the complication by saying that she got in touch with her contacts back in London and it sounds like shady things are happening there, too.
Detective Art, who is seriously getting on my nerves, decides to review the security tapes of the train jumper, and notices for the first time that the person who jumped and the person who witnessed the jump looked exactly the same. Art officially knows Beth is dead, and Sarah is officially in hotter water than ever.
Kira finally wakes up and tries to tell Sarah that Helena isn’t evil, that she just needs Sarah’s help. Which is confusing for Sarah, because Helena creatively managed to get her phone off a chair across the room and into her cage to call Sarah for help. (Helena, I’ve done the same thing to get my phone from across the room, except mine was just a cage of laziness.)
Flash to suburbia, where Alison and Felix are hiding out in the bathroom, sharing a few pills while Felix gives Alison the best pep talk ever. Ready for anything, Alison returns to the intervention and takes a few more minutes of abuse before she freaks the freak out. Everyone leaves, Aynesley throwing some nasty words her way first, and Alison and Felix are relieved the whole thing seems to be over.
Sarah arms herself and heads to get Helena, though she hasn’t quite decided if she’s going to off her or turn her over to Leekie. She finds Helena in her cage and points the gun at Helena’s head, but she can’t do it.
She’s pretty pissed at herself about it, but she can’t, so she gets the psycho-clone out of the cage and even lets Helena hug her. Since nothing is ever easy for poor Sarah Manning, Tomas comes bursting in and it suddenly becomes Helena with a gun, standing between Sarah and Tomas, waving it around all willy nilly. Sarah eventually talks her down, using the connection Helena is always ranting about, and her love for Kira, as leverage. Helena ends up with Tomas on the ground and tries to poke his eyeballs out with her thumbs. Because of course she does.
Sarah zipties Helena’s hands behind her back, and then hilariously puts her in the trunk of her car, but before she can deliver the crazy Ukrainian to Leekie, Mrs. S calls and says they better go back to her house first.
Back at the precinct, Lady Cop (who I never trusted) is bound and determined to sink Beth. She tattled on Art to the chief, and now there’s a warrant out for the arrest of Sarah Manning. Son of a bitch.
Paul apologizes to Leekie because Sarah didn’t show up with Helena as promised, but Leekie ignores him and calls a mysterious boss-lady. In a voice that sounded like she could be yet another clone, the mystery woman tells him not to underestimate the thickness of blood.
Mrs. S is waiting for Sarah when she comes in and introduces her to a woman named Amelia. A beautiful African woman looks at the lovely, fair-skinned Miss Manning and says she’s Sarah’s birth mother. Sarah and I raise an eyebrow, so she explains that she was a surrogate for a couple who hooked her up real nice during pregnancy – though she did get suspicious with how many medical tests they were making her get. Eventually she learned that they weren’t expecting parents at all, but Neolutionists, and that she had to GTFO. She ran away and had her babies in secret, giving them up for adoption. Yes, I said babies. She had twins, and gave one to the state and one to the church.
Sarah finally understands what the connection her and the fallen angel seem to have is…she might share DNA with Cosima, Alison, and the others – but her and Helena are biological twins. So she should probably let her sister out of the trunk, eh?
What did you think of “Unconscious Selection”?
Here are some of our favorite #clonesbians tweets for this week:
And I thought Crying!Regina was bad. Welcome to the I-want-to-make-your-pain-go-away part of my heart, Cosima. #clonesbians #Orphanblack
– NicS (@njnic23) May 26, 2013
Helena is like a small feral kitten with rabies. I know she’s dangerous, but I still feel the need to protect her #OrphanBlack #clonesbians
– Elizabeth Joy (@politicaljunk92) May 26, 2013
Fee and Allison make a pretty good team #OrphanBlack#Clonesbians
– Barbs (@barbsbhg) May 26, 2013
YOU GET OFF MY AVENGING ANGEL CREEPY PRIEST MAN #Clonesbians #OrphanBlack
– Ruth (@ruthbinns) May 26, 2013
Was it intentional to cut from “fetch me something gay” to Cosima? LOL #Clonesbians #OrphanBlack
– Ruth (@ruthbinns) May 26, 2013
OMG FELIX PERF. From now on…if someone ever drags me anywhere: “I need to change. Fetch me something gay” #Clonesbians #BestBrotherAward
– Ruth (@ruthbinns) May 26, 2013
Delphine, I have never wanted to slap a trick more than I want to slap you. And honey, you are certainly a trick. #clonesbians #orphanblack
– Erisel Cruz (@Yu3risel) May 26, 2013
Allison losing it is the best thing ever. #clonesbians
– Linster (@thelinster) May 26, 2013
What the what?! #clonesbians #Orphanblack
– NicS (@njnic23) May 26, 2013
