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“Once Upon A Time” recap: All Aboard the USS SwanQueen (2.22)

Previously on Once Upon A Time: Balefire boarded the good ship lollipop with Captain Hook to escape a Shadowman, Tamara and Stranger Greg stole the trigger that could destroy Storybrooke, and seriously where the hell is Ruby?!

We begin long ago on the Jolly Roger, with Hook gazing longingly at a sketch of Helena and his first mate, Smee, assuring him that they will avenge her death. He asks why they’re keeping the boy aboard, and Hook says that they will be using him as collateral for safe passage through Neverland by giving him to the Shadow. After a quick chat with the child, he puts the pieces together and realizes that he is, as fate would have it, Rumpelstiltskin’s son.

In present-day Storybrooke, Henry is swinging in the park while Granny sits nearby with a giant rifle. Gold comes very close to snapping the rope of his swing, but the Charmings show up to tell Gold that Neal was shot and shoved through a portal. They also share the even WORSE news that if they don’t act fast, Tamara and Stranger Greg will set off the trigger and everyone not born in this world will die. Gold, however, is long past caring about this family and their stupid hats, and has no interest in helping them. He blames himself for Neal’s death — he’s the one who brought magic into this world, and he knows better than anyone that magic always has its price.

Across town, in the mines, Hook follows Tamara and Stranger Greg as they look for a dwarf’s axe to activate the crystal. Hook finds out that they don’t actually know who they work for, and that they are willing to die for their cause. They turn to their pirate partner and ask if he’s willing to die for his.

He says yes, so Stranger Greg pickaxes the diamond and it floats up in the air and starts to glow. They then all run out of the mines, which seems silly if they’re all going to die anyway. Though, unless they’re lying about who THEY are, the curse theoretically shouldn’t kill them if they were born in the US and not another realm.

Back at the Charming loft, Regina wearily climbs out of bed just in time for the entire gang to come home. Henry runs to her and calls her mom and hugs her and her eyes fill with tears. Henry declares that they all have to work together to save Storybrooke and for once I am 100% on board with his idea.

So the team huddles up and assigns jobs. Hook and Charming will go after the Evil Duo and their beans, Emma is going to take Regina down to the mines, Mary Margaret is going to…go hide with Henry? I don’t know, I was too distracted by the idea of Emma and Regina alone in the mines.

Regina and Henry exchange “I love you’s” and Regina looks both happier and sadder than she has in quite some time.

Back on the Jolly Roger, Lost Boys clamber aboard the ship looking for the boy the Shadow dropped. From the way the head of the Lost Boys (decidedly NOT Rufio) tells it, Shadowman is the worst. He doesn’t take well to liars, and will rip your shadow from your body. Which doesn’t sound all that bad, but Not-Rufio makes it seem like it might be rather painful.

After the Lost Boys leave, Bae pops out from his hiding space and is happy the pirates hid him. His naiveté keeps him from considering the fact that they might have their own agenda.

Up on deck, Hook teaches little Baelfire how to steer the ship while they chat and bond over their abandonment issues. Bae tells Hook that his father is the Dark One and the dagger he’s obsessed with is the only thing that can kill him. When Bae finishes, Hook looks at the boy like he might actually give a damn.

In Gold’s shop, present-day, Grumpy and his fellow dwarves are rooting around looking for Sneezy’s favorite mug because the Blue Fairy made a potion that will give him back his memory. Fortunately, the Blue Fairy made two doses of the magic memory returner, and Grumpy gives Gold the second one, telling him not to let Belle die as Lacey.

Over in the shady part of town, Charming and Hook find Stranger Greg and demand to see his beans, but Tamara appears out of nowhere and shoots. Charming chases her while Hook and Stranger Greg wrestle on the ground. Tamara has apparently never run away from anything before, because she looks over her shoulder so often that she trips and falls. Before Charming can – I don’t know, lecture her to death? Hook yells that he got a bean and that they need to leave.

Down in the mines, Regina and Emma — together — find the diamond. Regina tells Emma that she can slow down the process, but it won’t last too long. Emma asks how she’ll find them and Regina looks at her with big, sad eyes, and tells her that doing this will take everything she has. Realization stabs Emma, and she begs, there has to be another way.

Regina says there isn’t, that this is the only way. Her only request is that Emma tell Henry that it wasn’t too late for her to do the right thing. She lived her life the Evil Queen…she just wants to die as Regina.

Emma starts to walk away, but turns back to confess her love. Before she can get the words out, Regina starts the process of slowing the trigger, and Emma runs out of the mine.

At Gold’s shop, Lacey and Gold are drinking to the end of the world, and Lacey spills some whiskey. She tries to wipe it up with Bae’s shawl and calls it an “old rag” and Gold realizes he wants Belle back. He magically fixes Chip and gives her a shot of the blue potion in it.

And just like that, Belle is back. Gold looks into her beautiful eyes and says that he didn’t want to wake her up to die, but he needed her. And maybe it’s because I’ve been Ruby deprived for like eleventy million episodes, but in this moment, for the very first time, I actually ship Rumbelle.

Back at Granny’s, Emma tells Henry that Regina’s was a final act of heroism. Henry pulls a Stitch and is all, “Ohana means family, and family means no one gets left behind!” He tells them they have to save her, just like the time they saved her from the wraith, and for once, Henry’s whining actually results in something and Snow gets an idea. They can send the diamond through a magic bean portal instead of themselves. Emma’s all, “Don’t get my hopes up. Don’t promise me I can have Regina back if this won’t work.” But the Charmings tell her they have to try.

Hook is like “HELL to the no” and tries to skedaddle with the bean, but Emma reasons with that human side of him that appears every now and again, and he finally hands over his pouch, but not before Emma lets it spill that Baelfire was Henry’s father.

On the waters of Neverland, Bae finds Hook’s picture of his mother and starts attacking Captain Eyeliner with a sword. Hook tries to explain everything that happened between his parents and him, and says that they could be a family, that the ship could be his home. Bae would rather fend for himself with the Shadow than stay with the man who tore apart his family. His wish is soon granted when the Lost Boys return and carry him off.

Present-day, in the mines, Regina is still holding strong when the Charming clan shows up. They tell Regina their plan and before she can decide if she thinks it will work or not, Emma realizes that there’s nothing in Hook’s pouch. Hook has taken the last magic bean and set sail.

Things are looking dire, and Regina’s losing control, so the Charmings pretty much give up and settle in for a group hug. Emma calls her parents “Mom” and “Dad” for the first time, which leads Henry to go over to Regina, standing all alone. Regina tells Henry that she can’t hold on much longer. Emma is struck with an idea and says she might not be strong enough, but “MAYBE WE ARE.”

The Charmings run for cover and Emma joins her forces with Regina’s.

Like Willow and Tara, like the Planeteers, like Emma and Regina themselves in the very first episode of this season — with their powers combined, they succeed.

The adults start doing a celebration dance and realize that things are a little too quiet — where’s Henry? They run around the mine and they find his backpack — he has been kidnapped.

Cut to Stranger Greg and Tamara dragging Henry along, muttering their evil plans. Emma, Regina and the Charmings chase after them, but Duo and Henry jump into a portal before they can catch up. Gold and Lacey join them in time to see a ship returning to port — Hook came back. Gold tells them that he can figure out where they went, and they can use the magic bean to follow them. Everyone starts to climb on board. but Gold stops Belle and tells her that she can’t come with them, that he might not survive this journey. She needs to stay and put Storybrooke under a cloaking spell. She tells him she’s sure she’ll see him again but all I can think is “Ruby and Belle can be alone now”.

For the first time in a while, we flash now to present-day Fairytale Land, where a body is washed up on the shore. Our old friends Aurora and Mulan turn the body over to discover it’s none other than Neal “Baelfire” Cassidy. (Oh, Prince Wren is there too.)

Back in time, the Head Lost Boy shoves little Baelfire forward and asks if this is the boy Shadowman is looking for. It’s not, and according to the piece of paper, they’re looking for Henry – Head Lost Boy says not to worry, Peter Pan always gets his way.

In Storybrooke, Gold hops on board and uses his magic on a spindle-globe and finds out where Tamara and Stranger Greg took Henry – and it looks like they’re ALL off to Neverland.

And then, right before our very eyes, the USS SwanQueen sails happily into the sunset. Until Season 3, you beautiful lovebirds.

Before we get to this week’s tweets, I wanted to thank you all for tweeting along with me all season, and for your comments on these recaps. Once Upon A Time was a wonderful way to begin my AfterEllen journey; thank you for making it so much fun. And I’ll be recapping Mistresses when it premieres on June 3. See you then!

Let your finale feels out in the comments, and have a magical summer! 😉

Here are some of our favorite #SwanQueen tweets from the finale:

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